If you’ve ever found yourself exclaiming, “No snacks! It’s bedtime!!” in a moment of parental frustration, you might relate to my experience. Conversely, if you’ve ever given in to that late-night snack plea, you may be just like me.
Over time, my family has developed a routine of indulging in snacks before sleep—a phenomenon I refer to as the ‘fourth meal.’ This habit can be exasperating for both my spouse and me, and I often catch my mother giving me a disapproving look during her visits.
I appreciate the well-meaning advice that suggests, “Just serve your child vegetables; they will learn to enjoy them if you stand firm,” or “If they’re hungry enough, they won’t refuse what’s offered.” While I agree in principle, the reality is that I’m just relieved when my kids consume any food at dinner.
I understand that I have a couple of strong-willed toddlers at the table who might refuse to try anything they deem unpleasant, and as they are young, it’s essential they get their nourishment.
When my first child was born, I committed to an organic, whole-food diet, and my eldest didn’t know what sugary treats were until she turned two. However, with the arrival of my second and third children, my approach to food became far more relaxed. If they desire sugary cereal for breakfast, I think, “At least I get a few more minutes of sleep.”
Despite the chaos, there’s a method to my late-night snack routine. I prepare dinner almost every evening. We rarely order pizza or serve cereal for a meal. I’m not boasting; I merely want to share that this is how I manage my household.
Some nights, my kids devour their meals, while other times, I negotiate each bite with incentives like treats, toys, and screen time. However, one to two hours post-dinner, the requests for snacks commence. Sometimes it’s a simple piece of toast; other times, we find ourselves preparing another full meal.
On evenings when they genuinely didn’t eat their dinner, I simply re-serve it when they claim to be hungry again. But more often than not, I find myself saying yes to their requests for a fourth meal, and here’s my rationale:
My children inherited a remarkably fast metabolism from their father. He is tall and lean, seemingly able to consume food indefinitely. During weekends, you’ll find him experimenting in the kitchen, creating various snacks and additional meals. My kids often appear hungry after dinner; I’ve witnessed my daughter polish off two eggs, toast, and a sizable bowl of fruit as part of her fourth meal. They’re growing and require additional nourishment.
I’ve learned to differentiate between genuine hunger and mere attempts to delay bedtime. Parents everywhere will recognize that when a child is truly hungry, they will willingly eat healthy options like bananas and yogurt. On the other hand, if they request candy after dinner, I’m likely to decline. If they are really hungry, they will eat more of the dinner I prepared.
At school, my children don’t always eat well, and it’s been a constant struggle to encourage better eating habits during the day. When I assess their overall food intake, I realize an extra meal or snack wouldn’t hurt, and in fact, might be necessary for their growth.
My youngest, in particular, has faced challenges with weight gain and growth. So, when she expresses hunger, I listen. She needs the calories to thrive and to perform well in school. If her best meal of the day happens to be just before bedtime, then so be it.
I don’t proactively offer snacks unless they ask, but this late-night ritual has become a staple in our family life. Some evenings are more challenging than others, and on particularly hectic nights, my kids might find themselves munching on plain bread as they head to brush their teeth.
Of course, there are nights when I firmly say no. If dinner runs late, I recognize they may not be hungry enough for snacks, and I remind them that the kitchen will be closed once the meal is finished.
Maintaining this routine can be exhausting; who truly wants to prepare an extra meal every night or deal with the cleanup? Meal times are already one of my least favorite parts of the day. However, I’ve learned to accept it, anticipate it, and embrace it. It has effectively turned into a family tradition. My children are keenly aware that if I put in the effort to prepare dinner, they better eat it if they want a second helping.
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Summary:
In this article, I share my experience of feeding my children a ‘fourth meal’ before bedtime. While I recognize the importance of healthy eating habits, my children’s fast metabolism and growth needs often lead to late-night snacks. I navigate the challenges of family meals, balancing nutritious dinners with the reality of kids’ appetites, and have come to embrace this nightly routine as part of our family tradition.
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