Greetings, fellow mom,
I’m Mia, mom to Lucas—yes, that Lucas, the one with a trach, and the congenital heart condition (CHD) that your little one just invited over to play. Whether we set this up or it was spontaneous, I’m thrilled to get together. Playdates are such a joy, right? Or perhaps it’s the refreshing glass of wine? Regardless, I’m excited.
Lucas has spent a significant amount of time in the hospital. He’s faced numerous medical procedures, often being treated like a patient rather than a baby. So, the chance to enjoy these moments with him is truly special. My husband and I have eagerly anticipated the day we could bring him home and introduce him to the world beyond hospital walls.
However, I have a somewhat personal question to ask: Is your child vaccinated?
Ah, the “v” word—a topic that can stir up strong emotions, much like the last political campaign. It’s often viewed as a personal matter, a family decision that’s not anyone else’s business. Yet, for us, it’s a different story.
Lucas was born at 38 weeks, weighing around 5 pounds, which placed him below the first percentile on growth charts. Though many babies are born at similar sizes, he faced additional challenges—a small jaw, an incomplete heart, and developmental issues with his abdomen. Each of these hurdles required us to summon every ounce of strength and grace we could muster.
Alongside these difficulties came difficult choices. Lucas underwent a tracheostomy, bowel resection, and open-heart surgery before he was four months old. We continuously battled infections, administering potent antibiotics that stressed his young system in ways no infant should endure.
One of the significant compromises we had to make was regarding vaccinations. Initially, we planned to vaccinate Lucas. We thoroughly researched the associated studies, understanding both the risks and benefits. Preventing illnesses that can be avoided is a no-brainer for us, especially given the aftermath we’ve witnessed from conditions we cannot prevent. However, in the hospital, vaccinations often fall low on the priority list. When the choice is between “life-saving surgery” and a “hepatitis B shot,” it’s understandable how decisions can skew. Additionally, Lucas’s immune system, already weakened from hospitalizations and multiple surgeries, isn’t quite prepared for vaccinations yet.
We have discussed a plan with his doctors to catch him up on vaccinations, but it’s a process that won’t happen overnight. Until then, he remains vulnerable to preventable diseases.
One common argument against vaccinating children is that parents know their child’s medical history and capabilities best—if their children don’t have health issues, why seek additional help? But then there’s Lucas, along with thousands of other children born with congenital heart defects or undergoing cancer treatment, and those with compromised immune systems who can’t receive vaccinations. Many of these kids have endured life-saving surgeries or extended hospital stays, and they require our collective support.
When these children fall ill, it often isn’t a simple case of resting at home with soup and a few days off school. It can escalate into hospital visits, reliance on oxygen machines, and rounds of antibiotics that may not be effective due to their previous exposure. Continuous monitoring is required, and setbacks in development can occur. Tragically, for some, a hospital visit may be the last.
I realize it may seem too much to request that you vaccinate your child since we can’t yet do so for ours. It may feel pushy or intrusive, as if I’m imposing my beliefs on your parenting choices.
But perhaps it’s not too much to ask. Maybe it’s just one mom reaching out to another, hoping to safeguard our little ones as they navigate daycare, school, or the playground without fear. I want Lucas to have the chance at a childhood free from the confines of the hospital.
So I hope you understand my inquiry and that it prompts a little reflection on your decision, whichever way it may lean. And by the way, I brought two bottles of white wine to share.
Warm hugs,
Mia
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