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This Comic Captures the Most Draining Aspect of Motherhood
A French comic artist, Emma, has gained significant attention for her portrayal of the “mental load” that many women bear within their households. Her comic titled “You Should’ve Asked” has resonated widely, as countless women relate to the scenarios depicted in it.
The comic opens with a relatable scene: new parents inviting a friend over for dinner. While the mother juggles feeding the baby, cooking, and managing everything else, the father remains seated with their guest. Sound familiar?
Often, women refrain from discussing these dynamics, fearing they may reinforce the stereotype of the inept father who contributes little to domestic duties. It’s important to acknowledge that while many fathers do help around the house—feeding the kids or sharing chores—the burden of the mental load often falls disproportionately on mothers.
Consider your own home. Recall the last time your child had a fever. Who stayed up through the night with them? Now, think about the last time your refrigerator was stocked. Who took care of filling out insurance paperwork? Who selected new backpacks for school and sorted through old clothes for donation? Who remembered to replace that worn-out toothbrush? Who attended the PTA meeting? Who keeps track of when you’re about to run out of milk?
It. Is. Draining.
Women constantly maintain an ever-expanding mental checklist of tasks that need completion. When they attempt to delegate responsibilities to their partners, it often results in just one task being accomplished, leaving everything else unattended. These may seem like minor responsibilities, but they accumulate to create a whirlwind of activity, leaving many mothers feeling like they are perpetually running in circles without achieving anything substantial. The overwhelming need to ask for help can be more exhausting than tackling the tasks themselves, leading to a mindset of “I’ll just do it myself.” This cycle inevitably breeds fatigue—and resentment.
This issue doesn’t end with the newborn stage. The mental load only intensifies as children grow and responsibilities shift, particularly when mothers re-enter the workforce. They become the project managers of their households while simultaneously handling the majority of the chores.
Emma highlights that women still contribute 25 times more hours to household tasks than men. For meaningful change to occur, it is crucial for men to recognize that their homes are also their responsibility.
You can explore the full comic, “You Should Have Asked”, here for a deeper understanding of this shared experience that many women navigate daily. Emma’s work truly encapsulates the thoughts and feelings of countless mothers.
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In summary, Emma’s comic provides a candid look at the exhausting reality of motherhood, highlighting the disproportionate mental load that many women carry.

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