Body image issues are not solely a female concern.
I lack any recollection of my childhood as a girl—those memories simply do not exist because I have never been one. Instead, some of my earliest recollections involve my grandfather affectionately dubbing me “Chubbs” and my father pinching my soft toddler thighs, referring to them as “hams.” Reflecting on old photographs, I can’t help but question the dietary choices of my parents, as I was quite a hefty child.
As I matured, comments like “It’s just baby fat; you’ll outgrow it” became commonplace. However, I never did. While my friends blossomed and slimmed down, I remained unchanged. At the age of 10, my mother informed me we would be dieting because my best friend had lost weight. This was my initiation into the world of comparison, where I learned that being bigger than my peers was unacceptable.
Throughout my school years and into college, I observed how women connected through discussions about food and weight. We categorized our eating habits as “good” or “bad” based on daily choices, often competing to see who could consume the least. Even now, my social media feeds are filled with women promoting “skinny” recipes and trendy weight loss products. We immerse ourselves in diet programs and workout plans, constantly pressured to achieve or maintain a so-called “ideal” body. This has become the norm for us—a maddening reality of womanhood.
When I had my first child, I was relieved to welcome a son. I doubted my ability to raise a daughter with a positive body image—how could I impart a sense of self-worth that I never possessed? My son, resembling his father with his curly hair and dimples, inherited my blue eyes and sturdy build. I thought nothing of it; everyone remarked, “He’ll be a football player!”
However, at around six years old, my son began to jog during our visits to the park. Initially, I assumed he was mimicking the adults, but his interest grew into a daily routine. He started asking about the calories in his food and began weighing himself every morning, gauging his mood based on the number displayed on the scale—at just six years old. Upon further investigation, I learned that during a physical education class, he had been weighed, and a classmate had called him fat.
This revelation took me by complete surprise. I had never considered that boys could struggle with body image. The men in my life, including my father, had never shown signs of body dissatisfaction, often joking about their own physiques. Yet here I was, witnessing my beautiful son pinching his belly and obsessively searching for workout videos online. It broke my heart to see him grappling with feelings that mirrored my own past struggles.
Children often reflect the best and worst of their parents, serving as mirrors to our unresolved issues. I realized I needed to confront my own challenges in order to help him. I resolved to be the supportive parent I wished I had in my youth.
To begin, I removed the scale from our home. We would not weigh ourselves daily, as weight is merely one measure of our bodies and can fluctuate without indicating overall health. As the primary shopper for our household, I ensured our meals included ample vegetables and lean proteins while attempting to limit sugar intake, a difficult task given the prevalence of sugary products marketed to children. We opted for healthier snacks like cheese and nuts and maintained an active lifestyle through biking, skating, and outdoor play.
My son is now involved in sports, and our conversations have shifted from weight to fitness and wellness. I now ask him how he feels physically—whether he has energy, feels strong, and can engage in play without becoming winded. These are the true indicators of health, not the number on the scale.
While our journey is not flawless, it marks a beginning. There are days when I struggle to refrain from discussing diets and food with other women, especially within earshot of my children. Yet, we strive to take it one day at a time, making conscious choices as we navigate this path together.
I cannot control what others say to my son or the external pressures he may face regarding body image. However, I understand that the way I communicate with him and the values I instill will shape his internal voice. Awareness of this dynamic is half the battle.
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In summary, body image issues affect both boys and girls, and it is essential to foster a healthy relationship with our bodies. By addressing our own insecurities, we can guide our children toward a more positive self-image, emphasizing health and well-being over numbers on a scale.
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