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The Feline Fantasy Residence: A Combination of Delight and Dread
by Alex Turner
Updated: June 14, 2017
Originally Published: June 13, 2017
Are you a cat enthusiast? I mean, truly passionate about our feline friends? If your heart beats for cats more than for humans, and you find yourself having in-depth discussions about global affairs and the best sunbathing spots with your cat, then you’re in luck! A remarkable property has just hit the market in the expansive Arizona desert.
A recent real estate listing by Coldwell Banker has gained significant attention online, and after seeing a few images from inside, you’ll quickly realize its allure. Located at 669 County Road 8235 Stanford Road, this home is listed for $240,000—a bargain for anyone looking for a unique sanctuary, albeit perhaps a bit isolated.
While the listing employs standard real estate jargon, we’ve taken the liberty to translate it for you:
“Contemporary (with indoor plumbing) eccentric (a bit quirky) full log-sided custom home (truly one-of-a-kind) on approximately 20 acres (isolated from the world) for the cat lover! (Mr. Whiskers reigns supreme) If you adore cats (and we mean really adore them) this is the abode for you! If not, bring a sandblaster! (Also consider matches, smudge sticks, and maybe a priest.) Custom-built with hardwood kitchen cabinets (Oak, Lacewood, and Bocote); the Wood Database notes, ‘Bocote often features unique figuring, which is delightful.’ Accented with river rock, there are cat walkways and a grand room featuring a medieval-style cat castle with multiple levels (made of stone). (WARNING WARNING WARNING) All interior doors are custom-built (wood). You must see this to believe it exists!!! (No joke) An incredibly rare find, extremely entertaining (the kind of fun akin to being trapped in a dim, windowless room while hearing growls that aren’t your own) home!”
Let’s explore!
Admittedly, it requires some renovation, but it’s a charming little house. It features skylights, expansive picture windows, and an overwhelming number of cat decorations. The collection of toy cats clinging to the railing on the left is particularly striking; it appears they were caught in a desperate attempt to escape. Quite adorable, really.
One must appreciate the assortment of cat-themed items present. However, Christmas stockings? My own cat has a stocking too, but I took it down in January. It’s June now—that’s just tacky.
Notice the high ceilings adorned with cat-related decorations. Did someone truly walk across those beams to hang them? I’m convinced this was not an individual who thought, “I should get a ladder.”
There’s ample storage—perfect for housing even more cats.
How about unwinding in the oh good grief… If even one of those mugs isn’t cat-themed, I’ll feel betrayed. Also, it’s noteworthy that there are no plates, which seems fitting for an eccentric’s soup-centric diet.
Moving on to the garage—there’s plenty of space for your Stairmaster and trampoline, which you can use to reach the ceiling to hang more cat posters. And the view? A serene, desolate landscape, perhaps your final resting place.
Offers are currently being accepted, folks. Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity!
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Summary:
This unique property, a dream for cat lovers, offers a blend of eccentricity and charm, making it an intriguing option for those who appreciate feline companionship more than human interaction. With ample space and quirky features, it promises a lifestyle filled with cat-related adventures and solitude.
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