It all began with an unrelenting headache. A throbbing sensation that persisted for four long days, impervious to any remedy—be it medication, coffee, or even drastic temperature changes. When I finally reached out to my doctor, the reassuring words I received were, “You’ve experienced headaches before. There’s no need for alarm.”
Then, in the stillness of the night, an unexpected event occurred—it popped. Just as abruptly as the headache had manifested, it vanished. I felt (or perhaps heard?) a distinct “pop” in my head that jolted me from sleep, followed by a warm rush coursing through my mind. Memories of a friend’s recent loss of her mother to a brain aneurysm flooded my thoughts, and I panicked, believing, “This is it!” I hastily woke my partner and called 911.
Sitting on the carpet in the hallway, I rocked back and forth, clutching my knees, as the sirens drew nearer. I could hear the dispatcher’s calm voice in the background, but all I could focus on was the sound of my child crying from her crib. Over and over, I thought, “She won’t remember me.” In that moment of fear, I began recording a message into my partner’s phone, hoping against hope that she would never need to hear it. “Hi sweetheart, I’m your mama. I love you so much.”
That night marked a profound turning point in my life—not merely because the subsequent two years would be fraught with health challenges, but because my perspective on life fundamentally shifted.
Motherhood is often described as having a significant piece of your heart walking around outside your body. As the paramedics arrived, the reality struck me—if those were indeed my last moments, that little voice calling for me would never truly know who I was. All she would have were remnants of my existence: photographs, notes, and the stories told about me.
As I was transported to the hospital, a crucial question arose: What stories would be shared about me? The answer was distressing, so I resolved to change it.
As a parent, I urge you to reflect: what legacy will you leave behind? Are you kind? Are you nurturing? Are you loving? I strive to be, starting now. It only takes a moment to transform yourself. Replacing a negative thought with a positive one can be life-changing. Surrounding yourself with uplifting individuals and circumstances can profoundly impact your life. Evaluate your daily interactions; if changes are necessary, make them. The process can be as straightforward as you permit it to be.
Recently, a friend visited, and after several hours, she remarked, “You haven’t said a single unkind word about anyone.” Initially surprised, I answered, “Of course not. Why would I?” Then it struck me—this was a stark contrast to how I might have behaved in the past. Engaging in gossip and negativity is easy, but I’ve found it’s even simpler to choose kindness. Once you stop discussing others, you discover the joy of meaningful conversations about ideas, beliefs, and experiences.
I don’t intend to preach; I’m simply an imperfect person navigating life and hoping to leave behind a positive legacy. I believe you should strive for the same. Tomorrow is uncertain, and I’m grateful for the chance to share this message: live fully. Put your phone down. Engage with the person in front of you. Hold doors open for others. Smile at strangers. Express gratitude. Offer compliments—to others and to yourself. The size of your clothing won’t be remembered, but how you carried yourself will be. So walk with grace. Speak with confidence. Love tenderly. Laugh heartily. Reach out to someone who comes to mind. Celebrate others’ happiness, and most importantly, allow yourself to experience joy at every stage of life.
Life doesn’t need to be flawless to be fulfilling. What do I hope my daughter will remember about me? That I smiled, laughed, and above all, loved every moment I was given. I wish the same for you.
In conclusion, if you’re interested in exploring the journey of home insemination, check out this comprehensive resource on donor insemination. For practical tools, consider the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit as well as this guide for couples on their fertility journey.
Leave a Reply