Growing up, I inherited a mix of traits from my mother: an unfiltered expression when I’m irritated, a knack for calling out nonsense, and a special disdain for tardiness. I also got her cleft chin, an obsession with Italian cuisine, and an undying passion for mystery novels. But the most noticeable trait I acquired was her curly hair.
Throughout my life, I’ve often heard that women pay exorbitant amounts to achieve the waves I have, yet I suspect the desire for curls faded after the ’80s, when big hair was no longer a trend. As a child, my curls led to some unfortunate school portraits, due to the limited range of hair products available to tame frizz. Eventually, I learned to navigate my curly mane and accepted that I would never resemble the chic Meg Ryan with her iconic tousled locks. Still, I often envied those with straight hair.
Curly hair demands a strategy. For those of us with a head full of spirals, getting out the door involves an array of products, relaxers, and curling irons. There’s no such thing as a “wash and go” for curly-haired moms. Although I’ve grown to appreciate my curls as part of my identity, I can’t deny I’ve contemplated going completely bald more than once.
Once I became a mother, managing my curls became even more challenging. Let’s face it: Who has time to style their hair when a toddler is demanding immediate attention and an infant is attached to you? Hence, I have donned numerous baseball caps since stepping into motherhood. If you’re a fellow curly-haired mom, I’m raising a bottle of deep conditioner in your honor because you know exactly what I mean.
1. Epic Bedhead is a Given
For the first year of my daughter’s life, I oscillated between resembling the Bride of Frankenstein and a character from a sci-fi movie. Most days, I was lucky to shower, often doing so late at night. Going to bed with damp hair is a recipe for disaster when you have curls. One morning, when my partner jokingly asked, “What’s up, George Washington?” I knew I had a serious hair situation.
2. Short Hair is Not an Option
Curly hair acts like a barometer for humidity; the more moisture in the air, the bigger it gets. When curls are long, they can be easier to manage with a quick ponytail or bun. So, when the temptation strikes to chop it all off for a few extra minutes in the morning, you soon realize that short hair can be a colossal mistake.
3. Diapers vs. Hair Products
I met my stylist 17 years ago for a reason, and she’s still on my holiday card list. She knows how to tame my curls, but her services come with a price tag that was more manageable pre-kids. Once diaper expenses became a reality, those luxurious hair products that kept my curls in check were the first to be cut from the budget, leaving me looking like a hot mess while my kids enjoyed their clean diapers.
4. Weather is Not on Your Side
Moms often find themselves outdoors, whether it’s during a sunny soccer practice, dashing through a downpour at the grocery store, or braving windy playdates. For curly-haired moms, this often results in endless bad hair days. It wouldn’t surprise me if Mother Nature herself had straight hair. I know moms who have opted for baseball caps for years to avoid the humidity trap.
5. Your Kids’ Curls Bring New Challenges
Sure, detangling sprays have improved over time, and I envy the painless brushes available now, but no amount of product can prevent the wailing of a 3-year-old with tangles. Sorry, kiddo—no sympathy here. Just hold still.
Indeed, my curly hair can be a hassle, and I often envy those who can wake up looking effortlessly polished. But on those rare days when the humidity is just right, I’ve had a few extra moments to style, and my curls behave, I can’t help but feel a little spring in my step. Plus, since my mother passed away, my curls serve as a sweet reminder of her, bringing a smile to my face.
And to all the straight-haired moms out there, the next one who tells me they’d trade for my curls might just get a playful tap from my flat iron!
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In summary, embracing the unique challenges of curly hair, especially as a mom, means navigating unforeseen hurdles with humor and patience, all while cherishing the memories tied to those beautiful curls.
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