Updated: Jan. 6, 2020
Originally Published: June 18, 2017
Dear Children,
Let’s get straight to the point: I’ve reached my limit with the dishes. Day after day, it’s an exhausting routine that I can no longer manage. It feels like an endless cycle of cleaning, and I’m done tackling the never-ending mountain of dirty plates and utensils after every meal, snack, and creative project. It’s as if I’m trapped in a Sisyphean nightmare—just when I finish one load, another magically appears.
You often leave a trail of dirty dishes throughout the house, cluttering the kitchen table, accumulating on the counter, or precariously perched on the windowsill in the living room. Remember that popcorn binge during the latest superhero movie? Well, now we have ants, which is just fantastic.
I understand that I excel at washing dishes of all shapes and sizes—from pots and pans to your beloved, hand-painted mugs. You may admire my dishwashing finesse, my expertise with sponges, and my ability to manage soap levels for optimal cleaning. I’m conscious of water usage; I don’t waste a drop, especially in this drought-prone region.
I know precisely what belongs in the dishwasher versus what requires hand washing. I can load that dishwasher with the skill of a master puzzle solver, ensuring no space is wasted. I refuse to run it unless it’s completely full; that’s just how it is.
Yes, I have high standards for cleanliness, and I realize that might be daunting for you. If dishwashing were a competitive sport, I’d be a gold medalist for sure. I take pride in my skills, but that doesn’t mean you can skip out on this chore.
I’m even willing to overlook your less-than-perfect attempts if you would just do the dishes without the usual eye-rolling and complaints. I’m not doing you any favors by continually cleaning up after you, especially now that you’re all more than capable of managing it yourselves. One of you is already 15 and diving into complex math about exoplanets. I’m confident you can handle clearing the dinner table and sorting the dishes.
And you, my lovely middle school daughter, while I understand that keeping track of social events can be tiring, please don’t tell me you’re “too exhausted” to help. You have no idea what tired is until you’ve experienced sleepless nights filled with hot flashes. If anyone deserves a break, it’s me.
Even you, my youngest at five years old, can manage to carry your plate to the sink, rinse it, and place it in the dishwasher. What’s that? You can’t reach the faucet? That’s what the Mickey Mouse step stool is for! You know how to use it to reach the cookie jar, so why not use it for something productive?
I realize my neat-freak tendencies may contribute to the issue. When I say “now,” I mean right away, but for you three, it seems to translate to a vague future time that often means never. You like to wait until I can’t take it anymore and end up cleaning up the mess myself. Well, this is a new era. I’m ready to let go of my obsessive habits so you can gain a sense of accomplishment from doing your own dishes.
And don’t say I never did anything for you. Oh, and about my wine glass—use extra soap. That lip gloss can be quite stubborn to remove.
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Summary:
In this candid letter to her children, Jordan Levenson expresses her frustration about constantly managing the dishes and encourages her kids to take responsibility for their own chores. She highlights the importance of learning life skills and emphasizes that they are all capable of pitching in. This humorous yet poignant message serves as a reminder that everyone needs to contribute to the household.
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