For months, I’ve carried a burden in my heart that I haven’t shared publicly, fearing it may come across as “too political.” However, this isn’t about politics; it’s deeply personal. Today, I’m choosing to be vulnerable and open about our family’s situation, hoping you’ll read this with compassion and understanding. I need to share that my family is currently relying on Medicaid.
When I married my husband, I was fortunate enough to leave my job and become a stay-at-home mom. My husband, with his PhD, worked diligently to provide for our family. His income allowed us to live comfortably and secured decent health insurance. We were aware of this privilege and immensely grateful for it.
However, everything changed when he fell ill. Our finances quickly dwindled as we faced mounting medical expenses, including medications, home health care, and necessary equipment. Despite our efforts to adjust, watching our savings shrink was terrifying. Illness can be financially devastating.
After my husband’s passing, our source of income vanished along with his health insurance. Thankfully, due to his years of hard work, we qualified for Social Security survivor benefits, which allowed us to navigate this challenging time with some stability. Yet, obtaining health insurance became a complicated issue. I explored purchasing a plan but was directed to Medicaid due to our financial situation.
While I could have opted to continue with COBRA coverage, the premiums exceeded our new monthly income. I contemplated re-entering the workforce after dedicating over a decade to caring for my husband and children, but I knew my kids were facing immense changes — transitioning to public school and managing their grief. They needed me present, available for school drop-offs, pick-ups, and supporting them through counseling sessions.
Even though I believe this was the right choice for us, feelings of guilt and shame often overwhelm me. I hear harsh judgments from those unaware of our circumstances, labeling Medicaid recipients as lazy or dishonest. These assumptions weigh heavily on my heart, making me question our worth as a family. Are we now seen as irresponsible merely because we are navigating through a difficult phase of life?
Both my husband and I contributed to systems like Medicaid during our working years. Yet, the stigmas surrounding Medicaid create an internal struggle for me, especially as I work towards building a career that will eventually allow us to afford private insurance. Meanwhile, I feel judged for owning an iPhone or a minivan, items we acquired long before our current situation.
In conversations I overhear, I can feel the judgment directed at families like mine. Do they realize that we are the very people they criticize? Their words about “poor, jobless people” driving up healthcare costs cut deep. I never wished for my husband’s illness or the subsequent need for extensive care. I never anticipated becoming a family of four instead of five, living on a fraction of what we once had.
This is our reality now, and Medicaid serves as a crucial safety net while we heal and reconstruct our lives. I recognize we are not alone; nearly 70 million Americans rely on Medicaid, making it the largest insurer in the country. Medicaid recipients come from all walks of life — some are elderly, some are young, some are disabled, and others, like myself, are simply trying to rebuild after a life-altering event.
What I want everyone to understand is that I am not lazy or exploiting the system. I am striving to establish a stable life for my family, but this process takes time. I acknowledge the privilege I have to manage our bills with survivor benefits, knowing others may not be so fortunate. I dream of one day being able to assist families in similar situations, offering support when they need it most.
Being a widowed mother has profoundly impacted my self-confidence. Every day is filled with fears as I strive to make the best choices for my children and myself. Alongside typical worries, I now grapple with concerns about Medicaid — what if we lose this support? How will my son manage his pre-existing condition? Will we be able to afford necessary medications and counseling? The uncertainty is a constant presence in my thoughts.
Yet, I remind myself that relying on Medicaid is the best option for us at this moment. It is not a permanent solution, but it is what we need as we continue to heal and work towards a more secure future.
I understand that everyone has their own struggles, and appearances can be deceiving. A nice home or car may mask hidden pain or insecurity. I’ve experienced firsthand how quickly life can change. We can find ourselves in need of support, and no one is immune to the challenges that life can present. That’s why I believe in extending empathy instead of judgment. We all deserve kindness, especially when life throws us off balance.
Let’s prioritize compassion and support for one another. Even a small act of kindness can make a significant difference during tough times.
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In summary, Medicaid is not merely a safety net; it is a lifeline for many families navigating unforeseen challenges. It’s essential to approach these topics with empathy and understanding rather than judgment.
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