Recently, Patton Oswalt, whose wife, Mia Thompson, tragically passed away in April 2016, shared the joyful news of his engagement to actress Linda Parker. While many celebrated this new chapter in their lives, a contingent of online critics emerged, questioning the timing of Oswalt’s engagement so soon after his wife’s death. In response, both Oswalt and Parker have addressed the negativity stemming from their happiness.
Mia’s sudden passing left Oswalt heartbroken. As he expressed in a heartfelt essay for a publication later that year, “I was eagerly anticipating a lifetime with the most extraordinary person I had ever known. Now, she is gone—completely gone.” Over a year has passed since that devastating loss, and Oswalt, along with his young daughter, Lily, has found joy again with Parker.
However, the internet’s trolls wasted no time in voicing their unsolicited opinions. When a widower and father moves on, especially one who is not well-known to the public, it seems some feel compelled to judge and belittle their happiness. Comments on social media included remarks like, “Wow, that was quick,” and “Seems too soon to be engaged,” reflecting a misguided sense of moral superiority aimed at Oswalt.
In a powerful blog post, a widow named Sarah Mitchell, who experienced a similar loss shortly after Oswalt, responded to the negativity. Her words resonated with Oswalt, who shared her thoughts on his social media accounts, thanking her for voicing the anger he felt towards the “anonymous critics.” Mitchell wrote, “You have no right to judge someone’s choices when you sit contentedly with your own partner. You didn’t witness your normal day turn into your worst nightmare.”
Mitchell’s sentiment is spot on. The challenge of navigating life after such profound loss is unimaginable, and while it’s easy to speak from a place of perceived wisdom, we often have no idea what the “right decision” truly looks like. Society tends to paint a portrait of widows and widowers as forever mourning, adhering to a romanticized notion of grief that doesn’t reflect reality.
As Mitchell articulates, “How long should a widow linger in solitude before you feel comfortable allowing them the freedom to love again?” In the case of Oswalt, his heart has not diminished; it has expanded. Love is not a finite resource that must be conserved for the deceased. It can grow and adapt, allowing for new relationships without erasing the past.
Sadly, our culture often glorifies suffering, preferring tales of woe to those of joy. When someone emerges from their grief to embrace happiness, there are those quick to find fault in their choices, as if someone else’s decisions reflect their own lives. Yet, they don’t.
Parker expressed her understanding of Oswalt’s journey through grief in her response to detractors, stating, “Most importantly, Lily is thriving and feels cherished. My goal will always be to honor the incredible gift Mia has given us while building our family.” It’s clear that both Oswalt and Parker hold Mia’s memory in high regard.
Instead of casting judgment, let’s celebrate their happiness. As Mitchell beautifully concludes, widows and widowers know all too well that love comes with the risk of pain. If they choose to open their hearts to love again, it’s an act of bravery deserving of recognition and support.
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In summary, Patton Oswalt’s engagement is a testament to the resilience of the human heart, and the outpouring of negativity from some only underscores the importance of recognizing and celebrating the courage it takes to love again after loss.
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