The first time I ever hosted Friendsgiving, I was a newly married 20-something with cooking skills that peaked at instant ramen and the occasional Rice-A-Roni. I had just moved three states away from home, living in a tiny apartment with my husband near the Air Force base where he was stationed.
Being part of a military family often means spending holidays away from loved ones. Many of our friends were in the same boat, so instead of wallowing in homesickness during Thanksgiving, we decided to throw a feast to ensure no one had to celebrate alone.
Let’s just say the food was probably a complete disaster. I can’t recall everything I made, but I distinctly remember the horror of pulling out a long, tube-like object from my thawed turkey. I called my mom in a panic, thinking it was the turkey’s “penis” (she chuckled for a solid five minutes before explaining it was just the neck). Given my lack of experience, I’m sure the rest of the meal wasn’t much better, but everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, despite the fact that we had to slice the gravy like it was a loaf of bread. Friends brought frozen pies, bakery rolls, and some cheap wine, and we ended up laughing and having a great time.
It’s tough to feel alone, but being alone on a holiday—especially one focused on family—can be especially painful. Sure, being solo on Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day isn’t so bad; those holidays are more about partying than family. But Thanksgiving? That’s all about family gatherings and traditions. Missing out on that can feel pretty heavy.
That’s where Friendsgiving comes in. It’s a chance to celebrate the holiday with others who might be feeling the same way. When you gather with friends, it’s a win-win situation. You already know you’ll have a blast, unlike a family-only Thanksgiving, where you might have to deal with your tipsy Uncle Dave or your overly political cousin, Karen.
What’s even better? Friends bring their own traditions to the table. At our Friendsgiving, it’s not unusual to find pad Thai next to the stuffing and sweet potato casserole. And if it’s a potluck, the host gets a break while everyone enjoys the feast.
Now that I’m a parent, my favorite part of hosting Friendsgiving is the important message it sends to my kids: we care, we share, and we include. No one should feel left out.
I’ve come a long way since that first Friendsgiving nearly 20 years ago. I’ve never given anyone food poisoning, and I can cook a turkey now without worrying about its “anatomy.” But one thing remains constant: the diversity at our Thanksgiving table. Everyone is welcome, no matter where they come from or why they’re celebrating. Our home is always open, and I hope our kids will embrace this spirit of togetherness and carry on the tradition of Friendsgiving when they’re old enough to host their own celebrations—even if the food isn’t perfect for the first few years.
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In summary, Friendsgiving is a heartwarming way to celebrate the holiday with friends who may also be away from family. It’s all about inclusion, laughter, and good food, no matter how it turns out.
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