“Does anyone know a insert profession here who is great with special needs kids?” – a common plea from every parent of a child with special needs on social media.
Last year marked a significant milestone for my son; he managed to get through a dentist appointment without a meltdown. Initially, he was flapping his arms, screaming, and sweating profusely — a response reminiscent of a sea slug trying to ward off predators. But Dr. Max (not his real name) had a remarkable way of connecting with him. For the first time, my son had X-rays taken, underwent a thorough dental examination, and even left the office with a smile.
Dr. Max has an irresistible charm. fixes hair, adjusts glasses
This is true for all children on the spectrum. Once you discover how to navigate their anxiety, things often improve. However, the opposite is also valid; if you approach a situation the wrong way, it can lead to panic levels that are hard to recover from.
Interestingly, my son didn’t seem to recall how well Dr. Max had managed him last year. During our latest visit, he was visibly anxious, trying to play it cool while Dr. Max opted for a gentle, careful approach. In an Oscar-worthy moment, I announced I was stepping out to the restroom (appointments usually go smoother when I’m not in sight). Without missing a beat, Dr. Max reassured him, saying, “That’s fine! I’m just going to check your teeth, and your mom will be back in no time.”
I stood just outside the exam room, listening to him comfort my son. I peeked in to find my little guy in the corner, clutching his toothbrush and toothpaste from home, while the dentist cleaned his face with gauze. After the visit, Dr. Max suggested, “Can you come back in three months? It seems having mom wait outside works better. Next time, I’ll be more direct in my approach; it seems to resonate with him.”
I was grateful for his understanding and patience. He replied, “Every child responds differently, and it can change from visit to visit.”
Bingo.
Every child is unique, and their needs can vary, even from one appointment to the next. Dr. Max perfectly encapsulated how to engage with autistic patients: recognize their individuality and adapt accordingly. It’s no different than how any of us would want to be treated.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate other medical professionals who have also embraced this approach:
- To the orthotist who met us at the back of our van for years to fit my son’s braces,
- To the physical medicine doctor who immediately began using sign language when she realized my son might not grasp her verbal instructions,
- And to the hospital nurse who spoke directly to my son, asking him his name, age, and school instead of addressing me right in front of him.
Medical anxiety can be a major hurdle for many autistic individuals. The sensory overload, difficulty in communication, and fear of the unknown can overwhelm both the patient and their caregivers. I recall a recent specialist appointment where my son felt anxious and cried. We were faced with two options: I could physically hold my 12-year-old down, or they could have two staff members rush in to pin him to the floor.
I couldn’t help but think — what if, while we were talking, two large men suddenly appeared and restrained me while another approached? That would certainly make me hesitant about future visits!
It may seem surprising that some medical offices aren’t equipped to accommodate their increasing number of autistic patients. However, many doctors have limited time and often lack specialized training in disabilities. As parents, we take it upon ourselves to ensure that every detail is covered to facilitate a smooth visit.
So here’s a tip for medical professionals: take a page from Dr. Max’s book. His strategy is crucial for successful interactions with all your patients. Remember they are individuals, figure out what they need on any given day, and tailor your approach accordingly. We parents will handle the rest.
For more insights into navigating parenthood and medical challenges, check out Make a Mom’s article on home insemination kits. And for those interested in genetics and reproductive health, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, understanding and adapting to each child’s unique needs is essential for medical professionals working with autistic patients. By recognizing their individuality and being flexible in their approach, doctors can foster more positive experiences for both children and their families.
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