I have a little confession that might surprise you. You might react with disbelief, or perhaps you’ll nod in sympathetic agreement. Here it goes: during my teenage years, I really struggled with my relationship with my mom. I felt like there was nothing she could say or do that would earn my approval. I was not interested in her advice, or in being supportive; I wanted nothing to do with her.
Looking back, it’s a bit heartbreaking. I regret it deeply, but at the time, I just didn’t understand. Like many teens, I took my mother for granted. The teenage brain, still developing, is hardly equipped to appreciate everything a parent does. I mean, if you can’t even grasp the concept of a four-way stop, how can you fully understand your mom’s sacrifices and challenges?
That all changed when I became a mother myself. Like most new moms, those first few weeks were a chaotic mix of sleepless nights and a constantly crying baby. I found myself frantically asking questions like, “What am I doing? Is this normal?” Fortunately, my own mother was staying with me during that overwhelming time, offering guidance and support. I returned home from the hospital feeling lost and anxious, but the one person who could help was the very one I had distanced myself from a decade earlier.
Suddenly, we found ourselves in a new relationship. It was as if I had entered a secret club of motherhood, where my mom had been a longtime member. Every unspoken understanding between us became crystal clear. I realized just how much she had endured, and I felt a wave of appreciation wash over me. Years of disagreement vanished in an instant, and I came to see her in a different light.
As I navigated the early years of parenting, I couldn’t help but reflect on all the unnoticed things she did for me—like cooking meals, helping with homework, and driving me around. As my kids entered their tweens and early teen years, my gratitude grew even deeper. I was now facing the same challenges she had dealt with, and it was eye-opening to see her not just as my mom, but as a fellow survivor in this journey.
Now that I’m guiding my kids toward young adulthood, I have an even clearer perspective on who my mother truly is. She wasn’t just a wife and mother; she was a warrior. She survived the chaos of motherhood—something I often feel is an uphill battle. Knowing that she came through it all gives me strength. I realize that I am capable of surviving, too, because she did.
Seeing her as a survivor shifts the dynamics of our relationship. We still have our differences, but the reality is that she completed a race I’m still running. I cherish her role as my cheerleader and emotional support in this journey. She reassures me, saying, “You’re going to finish this race. If I managed it, so can you. You’re stronger than I ever was.” And just like that, I find the strength to keep going.
There’s so much to learn from those who have survived challenges—faith, resilience, and the determination to press on, even when life feels overwhelming. My mom has imparted all of this wisdom to me, and on the days when I feel like throwing in the towel, I reach out to her. She always reminds me, “You’ve got this.”
So, thanks, Mom, for being my lifeline amidst the uncertainty of parenthood.
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In summary, becoming a parent has transformed my view of my own mother. I now see her not only as a parent but as a survivor who paved the way for me. Her strength inspires me to persevere in my own journey of motherhood.
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