When a new baby is on the way, parents often daydream about how their older kids will react when they first meet their little sibling. We buy cute T-shirts proclaiming “Big Brother” and “Big Sister,” eager to snap that first family photo. But for me, when baby No. 3 arrived, things were far from picture-perfect.
I had moved to a new city, staying at a Ronald McDonald House well before my due date due to my baby’s diagnosis of a lower urinary tract obstruction. Then, at 36 weeks, I developed a liver issue related to pregnancy, leading to the early arrival of my son, Oliver.
The day after Oliver was born, my mom loaded up my older kids, Mia and Leo, for the four-hour drive to see us. I wasn’t sure I was ready for their visit. After a challenging morning in the NICU, where my husband discovered a doctor had skipped a crucial procedure, we were both feeling drained. I worried about how I would interact with my 4- and 2-year-olds and whether I wanted them to see their new brother hooked up to all those wires and tubes.
But when we rounded the corner, seeing their bright faces made my hesitation fade away. Mia was sporting her Little Mermaid sunglasses, her ponytail bouncing with excitement, clutching a Build-A-Bear my mom had splurged on. Leo was busy running around with his cousins, trying to balance in the new high-top sneakers I had bought him.
I thought their joy might intensify my longing for home or make it tough for them to grasp that we weren’t returning right away. Instead, it filled me with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I missed them deeply, but I was so thankful they were there, even if only for a short visit.
As we walked into the NICU, Mia exclaimed, “He has tiny feet!” She proceeded to describe how adorable her new brother was, while Leo, in typical 2-year-old fashion, wanted to be picked up to see the “baybeh” but lost interest almost immediately.
We hadn’t coordinated outfits, and we didn’t think to take a picture, but we did it anyway. Because when life isn’t perfect, that’s when the best moments happen. Yes, the NICU is pretty far from an ideal backdrop for a family photo, but it was filled with incredible moments nonetheless.
There was Mia, bubbling with excitement to meet her brother. Leo, blissfully unaware of what this new addition meant, just happy to be with us. And Oliver, a tiny 6-pound fighter, blissfully unaware of the challenges ahead. Then there were two exhausted parents, weighed down by worry yet overflowing with love.
In that chaotic moment, you could see the stress on my husband’s face, the struggle of being torn between two worlds. Yet, all that angst stemmed from the immense love we shared. Plus, behind the camera was my sister, who rearranged her life to support us, and my mom, who dedicated much of her year to help care for our kids. In dark times, love shines the brightest.
When life takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself at your lowest, it’s often because you’re fighting for someone you love. We hurt because we love. So capture those moments.
And if you’re on a journey of your own, remember that resources like this fertility booster can help. Or explore these at-home insemination kits for additional support. For more information on pregnancy and fertility, check out this great resource.
In summary, even during life’s most challenging moments, it’s essential to capture the beauty that surrounds you. Those snapshots may not be perfect, but they tell a story of love and resilience.
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