You know, I can’t quite decide if this is a clever parenting move or if I’ve simply given up the fight, but I’ve finally thrown in the towel when it comes to my kid’s shoelaces. My oldest seems to have a talent for wandering around with his shoes untied all the time, and honestly, it drives me up the wall. I worry he’ll trip and get hurt, all thanks to those pesky laces. Not to mention, he’s already managed to ruin a pair of them, which means I get to add “buy shoelaces” to my never-ending to-do list. Oh, and let’s not forget the time he got his laces caught in an escalator. That was a fun day—removing his shoe while avoiding a crowd of shoppers!
At 10 years old, I feel like everything I say is just nagging him. There’s always something—untied shoelaces, messy handwriting, clothes strewn about, hair that looks like a tornado hit it, and plates that never make it to the sink. Some of these things are annoying, while others don’t really affect me, but when I bring them up, it all sounds like nagging. He needs space to explore who he is without me constantly hovering.
When we think about allowing our kids to develop, we often imagine them becoming their best selves—organized, athletic, or kind. But we rarely consider that part of this journey includes letting them embrace their less-than-stellar traits, too. We can guide them through homework, model kindness, and remind them to tie their shoes, but at some point, they have to take the reins for themselves, mistakes and all.
So, if you spot a sporty kid with unkempt hair and untied shoelaces wandering around Los Angeles, that’s my son. He’s bright, creative, a bit messy, and full of emotion. He needs more confidence, writes incredible stories that no one can decipher due to his rushed handwriting, and, of course, never ties his shoes.
Feel free to tell him to tie his laces; chances are, he won’t listen. He might trip or have another escalator mishap, and you might wonder why I haven’t stepped in. But remember, part of parenting is allowing them to stumble and learn from those falls. There’s no real reward in saying, “I told you so”—just the understanding that no one heads off to college with untied shoes. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself while I resist the urge to remind him.
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To summarize, parenting is a balancing act of guiding our children while allowing them the freedom to make their own choices, even if that includes tripping over their untied shoelaces.
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