It’s that time of year again when the debate arises about whether we should require our kids to “give Auntie a hug and kiss.” Recently, many parents are leaning towards the idea that it’s not right to force their children into physical displays of affection if they’re not comfortable. Rather than insisting that kids be polite, the Girl Scouts have weighed in with a thought-provoking article titled, “Reminder: Your Daughter Doesn’t Owe Anyone A Hug. Not Even At The Holidays.”
The organization has been doing some incredible work centered on empowering young girls, and this message is a crucial part of that mission. They highlight that telling a child they owe someone a hug, simply because they haven’t seen that person in a while or because a gift was given, can lead to long-term issues. Imagine a scenario where they feel obligated to show physical affection to someone later on just because they’ve done something nice for them.
Understanding the Importance of Consent
Some may dismiss this perspective as overblown. For instance, a writer for the New York Observer, Jamie Thompson, argued that encouraging kids to hug family is similar to reminding them to use the restroom before heading out. But really, those are two very different things! We encourage bathroom trips for the child’s comfort and safety, while guilting a child into hugging someone does nothing for their well-being. This isn’t about sexualizing innocent interactions; it’s about giving kids the autonomy they deserve over their own bodies.
The statistics are sobering—93% of child sexual abuse cases involve someone the child knows, with 34% being family members. The Girl Scouts are advocating for children’s right to choose who they feel comfortable being affectionate towards. Teaching our daughters that they don’t owe Uncle Joe a hug just because he’s family can empower them to recognize and resist unwanted advances later in life.
Creating a Safe Environment
Now, we’re not suggesting you sit down your little ones for a heavy talk about abuse. Instead, it’s about fostering an environment where they understand that affection should always be consensual. When adults push kids into unwanted hugs, it’s usually to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. But I’m all for teaching my daughter that her comfort comes first—even if that means Nana and Pop Pop might be disappointed.
Making Informed Choices
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Conclusion
In summary, we need to empower our children to understand their boundaries and respect their feelings about physical affection. Let’s support the idea that hugs and kisses should be given freely, not out of obligation.
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