You won’t believe this, but our yard has turned into a jungle. Seriously, I think there are even some wild animals hiding in the grass! My partner, Jake, mentioned he’s been trying to find time to mow it for weeks, but I honestly didn’t even notice it was that bad. Why? Because I couldn’t care less about the lawn; tasks associated with it just don’t register on my radar.
Recently, I’ve stumbled across a ton of articles discussing emotional labor and the mental load women carry, and I sometimes feel the urge to share them with Jake. But it’s not to make him feel guilty or to point fingers; he does quite a lot. Instead, it’s my way of seeking some validation for all the little things that wear me out daily. When I share these articles, it’s like saying, “Hey, I’m juggling a lot here,” and it helps me feel understood.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not looking to hand off my mental load to him. That just adds another layer of complexity, like having to remember to sync our schedules and grocery needs. My mental load isn’t going anywhere, and honestly, that doesn’t bug me because I know we’re both sharing it.
I genuinely believe we’re in a solid partnership. Jake contributes equally to household chores and never complains. We don’t have a formal agreement on who does what; we just know what needs to be done, and we tackle it together. If I don’t do the dishes, he will step up, and vice versa.
I guess I’m one of the “lucky ones.” My friends have shared stories about partners who don’t lift a finger around the house, and I can’t imagine that. I know women whose husbands have never done laundry or changed a diaper. It’s wild!
When I’m feeling drained or forgetful, Jake understands why. He pitches in to lighten my load because he knows I’m also working hard behind the scenes to make our lives easier. Marriage isn’t about splitting everything 50/50; it’s about both partners giving their all and blending their contributions to create a harmonious life together.
Now, has Jake ever picked up a toilet brush without being asked? Nope. But if I request it, he doesn’t hesitate to help out. And honestly, asking him to tackle tasks feels as easy as asking my doctor for a prescription refill. My doctor knows I’ll need it, just like he knows I could use some help when things get overwhelming.
Let’s be real: I’m not concerned about the lawn, and I overlook it just as Jake doesn’t notice when the toilet needs cleaning. Our priorities differ, but I know he’s all in, just as I am. I might still share an article with him occasionally to remind him that I’ve got a lot on my mind, but I also recognize that he helps clear some of that noise. And if it ever gets too much, asking for help isn’t a burden, it’s just part of our teamwork.
If you’re on a similar journey and considering at-home insemination, check out Make a Mom’s resources on how it works. They even have a fantastic sperm donor matching group to connect with others. Their at-home insemination kit is reusable, making it a great option for couples navigating this path. Plus, their guide on couples’ fertility journeys is a solid read for anyone looking to understand intracervical insemination better. If you’re wondering what to expect during your first IUI, this resource is excellent too!
In summary, while my mental load is significant, I’m not looking for Jake to take it off my plate completely. We both contribute, and that makes all the difference in our partnership.
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