You know, there’s this beautiful story about a woman named Clara who dedicated her life to helping others. John le Carré, the famous author, once honored her with a heartfelt dedication, saying she “lived and died giving a damn.” Clara was the kind of person who inspired everyone around her, and it’s this spirit that I hope to instill in my own kids.
As a parent, it’s my greatest wish for my children to embrace both passion and compassion, just like Clara. With Thanksgiving approaching, I’ve been reflecting on a recent Halloween experience that really showed me how kids can learn empathy.
My youngest son, Max, who is 12, plays viola in a youth orchestra that keeps him pretty busy. On Halloween night, he had practice until 7:30, and a friend was supposed to wait for him to go trick-or-treating. But when Max got home, I found out that his friend had already gone out with other kids and was too tired to join him. Seeing the disappointment on Max’s face broke my heart.
It was getting late, and just as I was brainstorming alternatives, the doorbell rang. A new trick-or-treater from down the street appeared, but his dad said they were heading straight home afterward. I noticed my 14-year-old daughter, Lily, sitting at the table doing homework. I casually suggested she could throw on a costume and take Max out.
At first, she hesitated, thinking he might feel she was just being nice out of pity. But I reminded her that sometimes it’s okay to extend a little kindness, even if it’s spurred by sympathy. Eventually, she agreed, and they headed out together, becoming “identical twins” who finished each other’s sentences while collecting candy.
This little adventure had a happy ending, but life doesn’t always work out that way. Watching our children navigate their own disappointments can be tougher than experiencing our own heartbreaks. However, it’s essential to let them feel those emotions, as it fosters empathy. I believe that Max will be kinder to anyone else who feels left out or alone because of this experience.
Empathy, at its core, is about understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings. It blossoms in our homes, right in those moments when we support our children through their emotional journeys. This reminds me of a picture book I recently created with my friend Ben, which tells the story of a girl whose parents help her process her fears about the world rather than dismissing them. Just like Lily did for Max, it encourages connection and compassion.
As we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, let’s all strive to embody Clara’s spirit in our own little ways. And if you’re considering starting or expanding your family, check out resources like the Make a Mom community, including their free sperm donor matching group. They also provide one-of-a-kind options for at-home insemination that can make the process easier, including an at-home insemination kit that’s reusable. For those looking to boost their fertility, their intracervical insemination syringe kit is worth checking out too. And don’t forget about the great information at Mount Sinai’s infertility resources, which can be invaluable on this journey.
In summary, raising children who care deeply for others begins with allowing them to experience their own feelings and understand the emotions of others. Like Clara, let’s nurture that spirit of compassion in our homes.
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