Let me tell you about my son, Leo. He’s almost 6 years old and still doesn’t know all his letters, which has some of my family members worried. They’re quick to compare him to my older child, who was reading at an early age. They seem to think Leo is falling behind or that I’m not giving him enough attention. If we weren’t homeschooling, he’d be starting kindergarten without a grasp of the alphabet or its sounds, making him “behind” even before he starts.
But here’s the truth: Leo is perfectly normal for his age. The expectations we have for young children have become skewed over the years, especially since the introduction of the No Child Left Behind Act. This has transformed kindergarten into what many now refer to as the new first grade. In fact, a report from New York Magazine stated that, in 2010, teachers were 33% more likely to believe that children should enter kindergarten knowing how to hold a pencil and recognize the alphabet than they were in 1998. I remember learning my letters in kindergarten during the 1980s, singing silly songs like “Mr. M, with the munching mouth.” Nowadays, if your child isn’t already reading, it feels like they’re already behind.
This situation is quite different in other countries. For instance, Finnish kindergarten emphasizes play over academics, with children starting school at age 6 instead of 5. A significant 80% of teachers in Finland believe that reading should not be a focus in kindergarten. Instead, children learn through playful experiences, which research supports. The Finnish curriculum explicitly states the importance of “learning with joy,” and many kids leave kindergarten still enjoying picture books rather than stressing over reading.
Despite this, Finland consistently ranks at the top for educational performance on international assessments. According to the Huffington Post, they have a literacy rate of 94%, while in the U.S., about 14% of adults can’t read. It seems their laid-back approach to early literacy is working just fine.
In a video by the advocacy group Defending the Early Years, Nancy Carlsson-Paige, a professor of early childhood education, points out that there’s no solid evidence showing that teaching children to read in kindergarten has long-term benefits. Research has shown that kids taught to read at 7 and those taught at 5 have similar skills by age 11. Yet, American children in 2010 were 15% more likely to use reading workbooks daily than they were in 1998. What’s driving this trend?
As Professor Bev Brenna from the University of Saskatchewan explains, there’s no specific age at which children should start reading. I know a homeschooling mom whose son struggled with reading at 7 but became fluent by age 9. Another child of hers is still just starting to read at 8. She often hears about homeschooled kids picking up reading around age 9 and then going on to complete school and even attend university without any issues.
I have a friend who was unschooled and learned to read at age 10 using Charles Dickens. Today, he holds a graduate degree and works as a field biologist. So, when I see Leo, who is still figuring out his letters, I don’t label him as slow or lazy. He simply isn’t ready yet.
We’re using “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons”, which I did with my older child, and while it’s challenging, it’s worth it. Leo sometimes gets distracted or frustrated, but he talks about how excited he is to read like his brother. He might not recognize all the letters yet, but I’m confident he’ll get there in his own time.
It can be tough hearing other parents boast about their kids reading early, but I remind myself of Finland’s educational philosophy and my friend’s success. I ask Leo if he’d like to practice letters with glue, buttons, or PlayDoh, and we keep at it. He’s right where he needs to be, and if that doesn’t align with American expectations, that’s okay.
I’d much rather have a child who is engaged and joyful in learning than one who reads early. Leo will thrive if I let him grow at his own pace while mixing in some literacy activities and encouraging creativity. He’s not behind; he’s right on track for his journey.
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In summary, Leo is developing at his own pace, and that’s perfectly fine. Every child’s journey is unique, and as parents, we should focus on fostering a love for learning rather than stressing over when they start reading.
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