Hey there, fellow parents! Let’s chat about the wild world of kids and the unexpected adventures they can lead you on. Picture this: I’m in my bathroom, and what do I find? A sticky, slobbery mass of chewed candy right next to my toilet. Who knows which one of my four wildlings decided to drop it there? Probably one of them took a bite, decided it was gross, and left it behind like a little sugary offering to the bathroom gods.
It looked like it had once been something fun, maybe a Starburst or one of those strange fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls. But now? It was a gooey, sugary mess clinging to the floor. I mean, come on—this isn’t exactly a clean area, but a half-eaten, spit-covered candy lump was a new low. Thanks, kids.
After wrestling that gummy blob off the tile, I tossed it into the toilet, thinking it would disappear into the abyss where all the other nasty stuff goes. And of course, I had to pee right after—I was in there for a reason! But when I flushed and peeked into the bowl, there it was, stuck to the side like some bizarre, fruity barnacle. No way was I going to fish that out.
I figured it would dissolve eventually, right? Well, fast forward a bit, and while I was folding laundry, my husband walked into the bathroom. “Uh, sweetie?” he called out, “Is that candy in the toilet? What’s going on?” I explained my sticky predicament and jokingly suggested he could dislodge it with a well-aimed stream of pee. He took it as a challenge—maybe a little too eagerly for a guy in his thirties—and unleashed a direct hit on the candy. But, surprisingly, it held its ground, even after a second flush.
As most parents know, there are always bigger fish to fry, and I really didn’t want to deal with that candy mess. So, I left it there, hoping for the best. Fast forward again—time to leave the house, and I remind the kids to use the bathroom. My little guy, Oliver, heads in, and I hear him peeing, but then… a long pause before the flush. When he finally comes out, he’s chewing.
My heart sank. I had a sinking feeling about what was in his mouth. “Oliver, what are you eating?” I asked, and he innocently replied, “Just some candy!” I gulped. “Did you… get it from the toilet?” He nodded. Just like that, my child had consumed a piece of candy that had been chewed up, spit out, marinated in toilet water, and urinated on by three different people. Ugh. I was horrified. My husband, on the other hand, was doubled over with laughter.
But hey, he survived to tell the tale, and now that he’s 9, I love reminding him of that little incident whenever he turns his nose up at dinner. And I can’t wait to share that gem with his future girlfriend while they lean in for a kiss. Ah, the joys of parenting, right?
Curious About Home Insemination Options?
If you’re curious about home insemination options, you can check out Make a Mom for their unique reusable kits, or learn more about how it all works on this page. And if you want to dive into the specifics of insemination kits, don’t miss this BabyMaker at-home insemination kit or the CryoBaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo, which are great resources. For more info on pregnancy and related topics, check out the NIH website.
So, there you have it: the sticky, sweet, and sometimes downright gross realities of parenting!
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