I’ve been breastfeeding for over seven years, mostly because I nursed my kids for more than three years each. I’m not sharing this to earn any awards or accolades. I don’t want a parade, a crown, or to feel superior to other moms. Honestly, all I want is for everyone to relax about extended nursing—especially beyond the age of one.
I’m done feeling like I have to hide it or dodge judgmental looks for something that’s perfectly natural. My nursing journey with my son, who is now 3 years and 9 months old, looks a lot different than it did when he was a tiny baby. Now, it’s more of a bedtime ritual: we get into his PJs, brush his teeth, and find his favorite stuffed animal. Then we cuddle up, and he latches on while I read a book. It’s quite sweet, really.
And let’s be real—who cares if my kid wants to nurse longer than a year? Only about 34.9% of babies in America hit that milestone anyway. Studies show that the average weaning age for extended nursing is around 2.5 years, with some kids nursing until they’re over seven. Sounds pretty normal to me, especially when you consider traditional cultures.
I’ve heard some ridiculous arguments against extended nursing, like it being abusive. Seriously? If nursing a newborn isn’t abusive, why would it be once they’re a bit older? A friend of mine from a different country remembers nursing at five and has nothing but fond memories. If you’re involving your child in adult situations while nursing or asking them to nurse when there’s no milk, that’s a different story. But let’s keep the “abusive” comments to yourself.
People often ask, “How old is too old?” as if they have a say in our nursing relationship. Some experts claim extended breastfeeding could hinder a child’s ability to self-soothe, but my kids are perfectly fine. They still snuggle with my husband to fall asleep, so where’s the issue?
Extended nursing works for us, and what we do in our home is nobody’s business. Plus, a psychiatrist quoted by Slate confirms that claims about extended breastfeeding making kids clingy don’t really apply to toddlers.
Some dads express discomfort with extended nursing, claiming it affects their relationships. But this is more of a co-parenting issue. I asked my older boys, ages 7 and 5, if they remember nursing. They looked at me like I was nuts and said no. This was the same kid who nursed in public at three!
If you’re looking for credible information, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, as long as it’s mutually desired. I want to keep nursing my son, and he wants to nurse too. So really, why does it matter to anyone else?
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So, let’s take a step back, chill out, and focus on more important things than how long I nurse my child.
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