Navigating college life can be a wild ride, especially when it comes to the complexities of relationships and sex. For many students, this is a time of exploration and empowerment, where sharing stories about romantic escapades over brunch is just as normal as discussing the menu. Yet, campus culture can also be steeped in traditional masculine ideals, fueled by sports, fraternities, and a plethora of adult content. This duality creates a tricky environment where students may struggle to find their footing amidst shifting norms.
As a parent, it’s understandably daunting to grasp the social pressures your child faces regarding relationships and consent. You can’t be there in the moment, but there are proactive measures you can take to help minimize the risk of your child becoming involved in a sexual assault incident.
1. Dive into the University’s Handbook
Take the time to read the section on sexual misconduct thoroughly—don’t just skim it! Familiarize yourself with the reporting procedures and how complaints are handled. Since policies can change from year to year, it’s wise to revisit this section regularly.
2. Discuss Affirmative Consent
Chat with your child about affirmative consent. The old adage “no means no” is outdated; nowadays, consent means both parties actively communicate their desire to engage in sexual activity. This may feel cumbersome, but open dialogue is crucial. Every student brings different experiences to the table, and assuming consent can lead to serious consequences for everyone involved.
3. Broaden Social Circles
Encourage your child to broaden their social circles. In the early days of college, it’s easy to stick to a small group of friends. However, knowing more people at parties means there are more eyes watching out for each other. Plus, getting involved in clubs or sports can bolster a student’s social standing, making them less likely to be targeted by those with ill intentions.
4. Define Personal Boundaries
Have a candid conversation about their personal boundaries. While discussing sex with an 18-year-old can feel uncomfortable, many students arrive at college with little experience and haven’t defined their limits. Helping them articulate their boundaries can empower them to resist peer pressure and confidently communicate their comfort levels.
5. Research Prospective Colleges
Before they head off to school, do your homework on their prospective colleges. Review the annual security reports that disclose crime statistics, including sexual assaults. A higher number of reported incidents at a school can indicate a culture of awareness and a willingness to report, rather than a lack of safety. When students see that their administration is serious about addressing these issues, they’re more likely to come forward.
6. Teach Smart Partying
Instead of telling your child to avoid parties altogether, teach them how to party smart. Alcohol is often part of the college experience, and losing control can lead to trouble. While students are usually aware of keeping an eye on their drinks, it’s just as important to monitor their own consumption to avoid overindulgence.
7. Be Cautious About In-Network Strangers
Make sure they’re cautious about in-network strangers. These are people they might know peripherally, like a friend-of-a-friend or someone they met once at the library. They may seem familiar but can still pose risks, especially in social situations involving alcohol.
For more insights on how to reduce the risk of sexual assault at college, check out Blurred Lines: Rethinking Sex, Power, and Consent on Campus by Lila Thompson.
In summary, while parents can’t be on campus with their kids, they can provide invaluable guidance on navigating the complexities of college life and relationships. Knowledge and open communication are key to ensuring your child is prepared for whatever they may encounter.
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