In March, my precious little girl, Mia, was involved in a horrific accident. The sound of the crash still haunts me, a loud bang followed by an unsettling silence. I often wonder what’s worse: witnessing the event or hearing it unfold without knowing what’s happening.
You never imagine something like this could occur in your life. It feels like a tragedy reserved for others, until it becomes your reality. A 50-pound mirror fell on Mia’s head. Fifty pounds—on her tiny frame, on her beautiful little head. I kept repeating to myself, “I’m a terrible parent. I’m a horrible person. I’m not a mom anymore.” Those words echoed in my head as I saw my husband rush down the stairs with our girl cradled in his arms, her skin discolored, blood trickling from her nose, completely unresponsive.
All I could think was: Why was I taking singing lessons that Saturday morning? I should have been home, where we could have been enjoying a walk or snuggling up with a book.
Having always dreamed of motherhood, I never imagined I’d have to confront the idea of losing that role. I spent countless hours envisioning the mother I would become, the qualities my daughter would inherit. What color would her eyes be? Would she be a performer like me or brave like her dad? It’s a painful realization to have to “unimagine” those dreams.
While I dialed 911, I found myself telling the operator that I feared Mia was gone. Just the day before, she had been dancing and giggling to Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” Now, she lay limp on the floor as her father performed CPR.
Desperate, I rushed outside to flag down the EMTs, hoping it would hasten their arrival. When I returned, Mia was crying intermittently, thanks to the guidance of the dispatcher who had coached my husband through infant CPR. We finally made it to Harborview Medical Center, a journey that felt like an eternity.
The EMTs were nothing short of heroes. They saved my daughter and, in many ways, saved me too. I don’t remember their names or faces, but their calm demeanor and expertise made an indelible impact on me. I’ll never forget the EMT driving the ambulance who comforted me, sharing a story about his own son’s near-miss, acknowledging that he couldn’t truly grasp my fear. Yet, in that honesty, I found a bit of solace.
We spent five harrowing days in the hospital, surrounded by a team of medical professionals, including EMTs, doctors, and social workers. My supportive parents were by my side, helping me navigate through this nightmare. I will forever be grateful to them for being there. It’s because of them that I can share this story and still call myself a mom.
The urgency of our situation became starkly real as the doctors and nurses rushed around Mia, their actions no longer feeling like something out of a TV drama, but a scene from my own life. I couldn’t bear to enter the emergency room, choosing instead to wait outside, where I prayed—something I had never done before.
After a CT scan and MRI, the doctors ruled out any life-threatening injuries. Mia had a skull fracture and a small contusion on her cerebellum, which meant she would need physical therapy to regain her ability to walk. Thankfully, what could have been a blood clot turned out to be a false alarm, sparing us the need for anticoagulant injections.
I’ll always remember the pediatric ER doctor who told us, “One day, you’ll look back on this as a terrible event that happened to you, but you’ll feel lucky and grateful.” In the pediatric ICU, I encountered other families with far more tragic stories, reminding me that while Mia’s accident was horrific, it could have ended far worse.
As I reflect on this experience, I realize that support is crucial for all parents, especially those considering options like at-home insemination. If you’re looking for a sperm donor, you can connect with others in the Make a Mom group or explore the at-home insemination services offered by Make a Mom, which provide a reusable option that prioritizes safety. Curious about how it works? Check out their guide on at-home insemination to get started. And if you’re interested in enhancing fertility, don’t miss their fertility booster for men blog post—it’s packed with useful insights. For a comprehensive kit, look into their 18-piece at-home insemination kit, which is designed for ease and effectiveness. And for additional information, the ASRM resource is an excellent place to learn about pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, my daughter’s accident was a nightmare, but it taught me the importance of support and resilience. I’ll always have guilt, but I’m also grateful for the outcome, the lessons learned, and the love that surrounds us.
Leave a Reply