I never envisioned myself as a mom of four. While I always knew I wanted kids, I figured I’d stick to the classic two—maybe a boy and a girl. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks this way; about half of Americans believe two is the ideal number of children. Anything beyond that felt daunting, too costly, and honestly, not part of my family planning script.
But thanks to some casual birth control practices and a little reproductive ignorance (surprise: you can totally get pregnant while breastfeeding!), I found myself with four energetic boys. Four! It felt like I woke up one day to realize we needed a minivan with a third row.
In today’s world, having four or more kids is rare; only 14% of families fall into this category. So, when I’m out with my crew, I often get the familiar looks, comments like, “You’ve got your hands full!” and the beloved question, “Are they all yours?” I can’t fault the confused strangers; I probably look a bit overwhelmed, disheveled, or just plain lost. If you’re a mom of four or more, you know exactly what I mean, and I’m here to say—I’ve got your back.
It’s not that having a large family means I’m working harder than moms with one child. We all put in the effort! I’m juggling cooking, laundry, and schedules just like any other mom. But there’s a certain chaos that comes with managing a larger brood that sets us apart.
So what’s the difference? While we may be doing the same tasks, there’s a good chance we’re doing them half-heartedly, half-asleep, or on autopilot because honestly, who can keep track?
When I spot another mom with a big family in public, we often exchange knowing looks—like a silent agreement that we’re all navigating our own storms. It’s a nod that says, “I see your chaos, and I raise you mine.”
What else do we big family moms share in common?
- Memory? What’s That?
I discovered this truth during my fourth pregnancy. Some days, I’d forget I was even expecting or how far along I was. With everything happening at home, I lost track of the little one in my belly. I’d be sitting there, beer in hand, only to feel a kick and think, “Oh right, I can’t drink!” When someone asked about my due date, I’d often reply, “Uh, not sure? Soon, I guess?” - Broke? You Bet!
Ever wondered how much it costs to get four kids through braces? Let’s just say it’s about the same as my orthodontist’s fancy new car! From piano lessons to soccer gear to college tuition—my bank account has been gasping for air for years to keep these kids clothed, fed, and educated. - Details, Details, Details!
Filling out forms at a new doctor’s office can be a real challenge. I mean, social security numbers for four kids? It’s a heavy mental load! There are sports practices, school assignments, and countless appointments to juggle. Wait, did I remember to pick up a kid from school? Is everyone fully vaccinated? - Frugal to the Max!
Back in the day when I had a bunch of little ones, I’d only change a diaper if it was completely soaked. Just a hint of pee? No way am I wasting a dollar on a new one! Want to know some great money-saving tips? Chat with a mom of a big family; we can stretch one pound of ground beef to feed a small army! - Perspective Matters
This might be the silver lining of the chaos. With so much happening, we focus on what truly matters. We’ve learned to let go of the little things; there just aren’t enough hours in the day to hover over each child like a helicopter parent. Somehow, we manage the madness and find the essence of what family is all about.
I’m proud of the life I’m building for my large family, and despite the messiness, it’s an honor to raise these humans. They’ve taught me what family really means. Is it hectic? Absolutely! Do I crave some peace and quiet? For sure! But I know that one day, I might miss this beautiful chaos.
If you’re considering expanding your family, check out Make a Mom for at-home insemination options. They offer the only reusable kits, and you can see how it works here. Plus, for those looking to boost fertility, don’t forget to explore these fertility supplements too! You might also find Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit helpful. And if you have questions about fertility treatments, check out this great resource from ACOG here.
In summary, life with a big family is wild, exhausting, and full of unexpected joys. We may not have everything figured out, but we’re making it work—and that’s what truly matters.
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