It’s tough when my partner isn’t around. I don’t mean the short times he’s at work or running errands; I’m talking about those longer stretches when he’s away on business.
Am I capable? Absolutely! Am I strong? You bet! Am I independent? For sure! Yet, despite all these affirmations, there’s still a part of me that feels incomplete when he’s gone. My support system, my partner-in-crime, my best friend is often hundreds or even thousands of miles away for days, weeks, or occasionally months. As part of a military family, this is just part of our routine, and while we’re used to it, that doesn’t make it any easier.
When he’s home, his presence provides a solid support system and a partner in this chaotic adventure called parenting. I manage our household and keep things running smoothly, but his absence hits me emotionally, and that’s a struggle I have to face alone.
I’m the one who keeps track of schedules, plans activities, and ensures everything runs as smoothly as possible. He’s definitely a team player in our day-to-day life, but I take the lead on most things. I pride myself on being an excellent project manager for our family. Even though I juggle a lot of invisible tasks that can drain my energy, I wear that badge of honor with pride.
We both have our strengths. He’s the grill master and handyman, while I’m great at organizing our household. He tackles the big bugs, and I deal with the spiders since that’s his kryptonite. He helps with cooking, cleaning, and everything related to the kids, while I make sure we don’t run out of essentials and pack school lunches like a pro. It’s a partnership where responsibilities shift, and we each take charge of what we do best.
But when he’s away, I feel the weight of everything on my shoulders. I become the sole provider of comfort, security, and care for our kids, and that can be overwhelming. What if I oversleep and miss getting my son to school? What if there’s an emergency and I’m alone with the kids? Every possible scenario runs through my head, and I realize how much his presence calms my anxieties—until he leaves, and I’m left feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
It’s not just about keeping everyone alive; it’s the mental load of worrying about everything and everyone. I absorb all the fears and frustrations while trying to provide endless comfort and love. My kids, still too young to grasp why their dad is away, often cry for him, and it breaks my heart. They miss him. I miss him. At night, when they’re finally asleep, loneliness can be overwhelming.
Despite all this, I remind myself that it’s only temporary. I do my best to keep the kids happy and distracted. Rules might bend a little, and ice cream becomes the go-to comfort food. I want them to feel secure and loved while we wait for their dad to return and for our family to feel complete again.
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In summary, while managing everything on my own when my partner is away can be daunting, I take it one day at a time, prioritizing my children’s happiness and well-being until we’re reunited.
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