You know what? I’ve come to realize that I’m not just a stay-at-home mom; I’m basically my kids’ personal assistant and social planner. For four kids, no less! And honestly, I’m ready to step down. I can’t quite recall when I took on this role, especially since I’m not even that great at it. Somehow, I’ve found myself juggling eight color-coded calendars that sync across five devices. It’s a lot!
I might look like I’m tackling a global crisis in that photo, but really, I was just trying to send out an online invite for my son’s birthday bash. I can’t be the only one feeling a bit lost in this whirlwind of modern parenting. Like many moms (and not as many dads), I handle all the kids’ social schedules, coordinate their activities, and remind them of their plans. It’s a sweet gig for them, but where’s my personal assistant?
When my kids were little, it was manageable. But now that my older ones have hit the double digits, I find myself struggling to keep up with their social lives. Sure, I still love setting up playdates for my younger kids, but it feels different for my older ones. The current parenting scene, especially in a bustling place like New York, makes it hard to let go.
Just the other day, I attempted to text a friend about her son hanging out with mine. But I paused—are we still calling it a “playdate”? That sounds a bit odd for kids who are practically teenagers. So, I quickly rephrased it to ask if her son could “come chill” instead. Unfortunately, the response was a flat no.
I sometimes envy my husband’s childhood in the suburbs, where kids just met up outside to play. He reminisces about how he never had to schedule playdates; kids would just hang out. Now, in Manhattan, it feels like we’re drowning in a sea of scheduled activities. When do kids get to just relax and enjoy time with their friends?
Since my husband pointed out that not every kid’s life has to be so structured, I’ve made an effort to let my kids figure things out for themselves. Last weekend, I handed my son the phone numbers of a few of his friends’ moms. (Just to clarify, none of the kids have phones yet, but that’s a story for another time.) I told him to give them a call and see who was free. He was excited—like a kid diving into a new Lego set.
But of course, in our overly-planned world, most kids were busy. It doesn’t work when only one kid is available for spontaneous play while everyone else is off at various sports or birthday parties. And after spending time getting them together, it’s almost time to head home again.
With four kids, the logistics of arranging playdates can take over my life. Just last Friday, a friend of my daughter wanted to hang out after school, and while I had to rearrange my day, it took a mountain of texts and calls—eating up half the time I had with her.
So, here’s my idea: Let’s bring back that good old-fashioned spontaneity. How about we encourage kids to set up their own hangouts? Let’s revive the classic home phone call instead of texting—remember the long corded phones? We had to actually talk to each other!
We could also do more carpooling to give kids time to chat, watch each other’s kids more often, and keep certain days open for group play. Maybe we could even start #fridayfriendday? Imagine if kids managed their own hangouts like we did.
If we all step away from our personal assistant roles, our kids will pick up important skills like socializing and time management. Plus, we might find more time for our own friendships, which is crucial for our well-being. I mean, who can survive without their amazing friends?
And honestly, wouldn’t we all love a little more free time?
In short, let’s make parenting a bit easier on ourselves and let our kids take the reins on their social lives. If you’re curious about at-home insemination, I recommend checking out Make A Mom for some great resources, including their at-home insemination kits. They even have a Cryobaby kit that’s top-notch. For those navigating pregnancy, the CDC offers excellent info on reproductive health.
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