If you were to ask my kids what their ideal Christmas morning looks like, they’d say, “Let’s just stay home in our pajamas all day and play with our new toys.” It really is that straightforward, and for the past few holiday seasons, that’s exactly what we’ve done—without a single regret.
Things weren’t always this way, though. Before we had kids, we cherished our Christmases in Maine with extended family. It was a beloved tradition. Escaping our bustling city life and knowing we’d have a snowy Christmas felt wonderful (Maine pretty much turns into a winter wonderland starting in October). Our relatives went all out decorating for the holidays, making it a warm and joyful occasion.
But then our first child, Leo, arrived a decade ago, and what was once a fantastic family tradition morphed into a chaotic nightmare. Leo was a car screamer, and the journey that used to take four hours stretched to eight. We found ourselves stopping constantly to soothe him.
When we finally reached Maine, as accommodating as our family was, it was still tough to navigate a new environment with a baby. Leo’s sleep schedule went haywire, and he was fascinated by everything he shouldn’t touch in their beautifully decorated, non-babyproofed home. I’m pretty sure his Christmas breakfast consisted of pinecones and tinsel.
We hoped the next year would be smoother, but after a few more years of the same struggle, we realized that traveling with kids during the holidays was more hassle than it was worth. I was the one doing all the packing (my partner, Sam, has never packed for anything in his life), and it felt like we spent more time packing and unpacking than actually enjoying our destination.
As the kids grew older, they began expressing a desire to enjoy holiday traditions in the comfort of our own home. And honestly, who wouldn’t want that? Isn’t it a universal truth that most kids prefer the cozy familiarity of their own space, especially during the holidays? Who doesn’t want to lounge around on Christmas morning, diving into the toys they’ve been dreaming about for months?
So, a few years ago, we made a big decision: we stopped going to Maine for Christmas. And let me tell you, that’s not as easy as it sounds. The holidays come with a lot of emotional weight, and people can have strong opinions about how they should be spent. There’s guilt, there’s pressure, and not everyone understands your reasoning.
Breaking from tradition is tough, especially during the holidays, but it’s perfectly okay, and often necessary, to prioritize your family’s needs. As we’ve matured, it’s become easier to set those boundaries.
Sure, I miss the special moments spent with extended family. Watching my kids bond with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents is something I hold dear. But there’s also a unique magic in spending the holidays quietly at home with just my immediate family, and honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
A “just us” holiday means staying up late, munching on popcorn, and watching classic holiday movies like A Charlie Brown Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street until the kids drift off to sleep in my arms. It’s about waking up on Christmas morning together, enjoying leftover cookies for breakfast, and knowing we have no obligations or expectations.
It means baking together in our pajamas without worrying about messing up someone else’s kitchen. It’s about not having to juggle countless personalities and their varied preferences for holiday traditions. Instead, we get to relish the time off work, avoiding the stress of travel, and soaking in every lazy moment as a family.
Yes, it sometimes means stepping away from established traditions and possibly disappointing some people. But it also opens the door to creating new traditions of our own that will be cherished memories for years to come.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by family obligations this holiday season and think that your family would benefit from a quiet celebration at home, go for it. Cut the cord, say goodbye to the old ways, and embrace your unique vision for the holidays. I promise it can be just as magical as you’ve always imagined.
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In summary, creating your own holiday traditions can lead to joyful memories that last a lifetime.
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