Back when I was sixteen, I stumbled upon an article in a magazine that claimed women in their forties had the best sex lives. The writer insisted that these women were in their “sexual prime,” with hormones running wild, and that twenty-somethings had a lot to look forward to as they aged. I remember thinking, “Twenty-four more years until I have great sex? Ugh!” At that time, forty felt ancient, and I had no idea what was waiting for me.
Fast forward to today—I’m forty-two, married with two kids, and I’m calling major nonsense on that article. I’m still waiting for those raging hormones to hit so I can have wild, spontaneous sex with my husband multiple times a day. Spoiler alert: it hasn’t happened yet. That magazine was just one of countless articles I’ve read that outline how often I “should” be having sex. Apparently, it’s seven times a week, or maybe five? Honestly, I’ve lost track.
What I do know is what makes me feel satisfied, and I’ve learned that I don’t need to be swinging from the chandeliers to be happy. In fact, I need a lot less action than those articles made me believe. Sometimes my husband and I experience a dry spell, and you know what? That’s totally okay. I stopped relying on the Internet’s advice about sexual frequency a long time ago. Contrary to what some articles say, not having sex for a while doesn’t mean my sexual skills will fade away. Trust me, your body remembers.
A dry spell doesn’t signal that you and your partner are disconnected or on the fast track to splitting up. It doesn’t mean your husband is going to cheat or that you’ll wake up in thirty years and wonder where the romance went. Sometimes, life just gets busy—juggling kids, careers, and the countless little things can drain your energy by the end of the day. You’re not being lazy or letting yourselves go; you’re still finding ways to connect, whether that’s through cuddling or those sneaky little moments when the kids aren’t watching.
I’m perfectly fine if my husband isn’t in the mood when I am, and vice versa. That’s just part of a long-term relationship. Sex may not always be the priority when you’re raising a family, and there’s no reason to panic if it’s been a while since you two got together. Quality trumps quantity every time. I’d take one thrilling encounter during nap time over a forced session just because some magazine says I should be doing it more.
In a marriage that’s lasted long enough to warrant a dishwasher as an anniversary gift, intention and quality are what matter. The chaos of family life doesn’t lend itself to spontaneous romantic afternoons. Instead, it often requires planning and cooperation, especially when the kids are involved. And if the timing doesn’t work out, exhausted parents often opt for sleep over a half-hearted attempt at intimacy.
So, I’ve learned that forty isn’t too old to enjoy sex. I might forgive that magazine author for making me think I’d be having sex like a rabbit, but I won’t lie—sex in my forties has its perks. I’ve had years to discover what I like, and I’m actually looking forward to my fifties for that reason. If that means we have occasional dry spells, I’m okay with it. Sometimes, the anticipation builds up, and when it rains, it really pours.
And hey, if you’re on a similar journey and considering starting a family, check out Make a Mom for at-home insemination options, including their unique reusable kits, or visit their How It Works page for more info. If you’re looking for a supportive community, join the Make a Mom Facebook group. You may also want to explore their fertility booster for men to enhance your chances. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination, check out the Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit—they’re a top resource in this space. For even more information, visit Rmany’s blog for helpful insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, a dip in sexual activity doesn’t spell disaster for your relationship. It’s all about quality connections and navigating the ups and downs of life together. So, if you’re in a dry spell, don’t fret—it’s all part of the journey!
Leave a Reply