Hey friends, let’s chat about something that’s been on my mind lately. So, back in college, I was a Resident Assistant, and most of the girls on my floor were white freshmen. One evening, a girl named Sarah came by to hang out. She was from a small town nearby and pretty new to the whole college experience. I often gave her advice and lent a listening ear.
That Awkward Conversation
Then this happened:
Sarah: “You’re not like other Black people.”
Me: *pauses, bracing for impact*
Sarah: “You speak so well. You know what we call those other Black people?”
Me: “Please don’t —”
Sarah: “Niggers.”
Me: “First of all, don’t ever say that word. And second, if you say that around the wrong Black person, you might just find yourself in trouble.”
Sarah: “But —”
Me: “Get out of my room, Sarah.”
Okay, so her name wasn’t really Sarah, but it fits, right?
*sigh* This isn’t an isolated incident for me. I’ve had variations of this ridiculous conversation too many times. I guess I’m one of those Black people that some white folks feel comfortable around. They call me “well-spoken,” which really means “You sound like us. You sound white.” I’ve been hearing this my entire life, and honestly, I’m over it. It’s not a compliment; it’s a form of racism. Just because I can articulate my thoughts clearly doesn’t mean I’m any less Black.
Breaking Down the Stereotype
Let me break it down: when you say that to a Black person, you’re implying that we all speak “Black” until we don’t. You’re boxing us into a stereotype as if meeting one of us means you know about all of us. The reality is, most of you don’t know any of us. Statistics show that only about 25% of white people have friends who are people of color. So, if you think you have Black friends, let’s be real: you probably don’t.
You might label a coworker you grab lunch with once a week as a “friend.” But if you’re not meeting each other’s families or sharing real life experiences, let’s call it what it is—acquaintances at best. It’s not friendship if there’s no deeper connection.
This is why many white folks might think my way of speaking is an anomaly. You’re not around enough of us to understand our diversity. Just like those who think Fox News is an accurate source of information, you’re absorbing what you see and hear in the media. And let’s be honest: it doesn’t paint a fair picture of us. We’re not just lazy criminals with no ambition.
Understanding and Trust
Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not here to mold myself to fit your comfort zone. My way of speaking is a reflection of my upbringing and my family, not an attempt to blend in. My mother speaks just like me, and she prepared me for the reality of facing prejudice. So, don’t assume that just because I’m articulate, I’m comfortable around you. Trust is hard-earned in my world, especially after generations of hurt from people who look like you.
Admit it: you’re more comfortable with other white folks. The way I speak doesn’t define who I am or my worth, and it certainly doesn’t define all Black people. We’re multidimensional beings, and it’s time you recognized that.
Expanding Your Understanding
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Conclusion
In summary, let’s put an end to the assumptions and stereotypes. Speak to us as individuals, not labels, and take the time to truly understand us.
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