Nothing makes me more anxious than attending my daughter’s preschool class, wondering how she will interact. On the last day of preschool before the winter break, families were invited to join in for the holiday celebration. I arrived just in time for story and song time. The teacher, Ms. Sarah, sat in a chair with a book, surrounded by kids sitting in a circle on the carpet.
Well, all except for my daughter, Lily. I spotted her perched on a chair behind the other children, focused and listening intently, yet at a distance. The other teacher approached me and assured me that Lily wasn’t in trouble for sitting there; she had chosen that spot herself. The thought that she might be in trouble never crossed my mind. In fact, I sometimes wished she would act out, as it would seem easier than my overwhelming concern that she wasn’t connecting with her peers.
My worry was that her speech delay was isolating her from the other kids, not out of malice, but simply because she communicates differently. I often see her sitting back during activities at school, church, or library storytime, and it feels like she’s lagging behind. Behind in speaking. Behind in expressing what she wants or needs.
During storytime, another child jumped up to look out the window. Lily quickly followed suit, and I saw their little backs, tiptoeing to get a better view. I felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over me. Should I be asking Lily to sit back down? Why couldn’t she join the others on the carpet like the rest of the kids?
Just then, Ms. Sarah paused her reading and turned to the window as well. I braced myself for her to instruct the girls to return to their seats. Instead, she smiled and exclaimed, “Oh, everyone needs to see what’s outside! Look what Lily and Emma have discovered!” All the toddlers leaped up and ran to the window, with Lily right in the middle, smiling and enjoying the moment.
She then turned to me and signed “cat.” That’s what had caught their attention—a cat on a leash! It was clear everyone needed to see that sight! I released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I had let my worries cloud my perception of Lily. Thanks to her teacher, I witnessed her transition from sitting at the back to being at the center of the excitement.
Perhaps Lily isn’t that different after all. She is a spirited and independent girl, full of love and curiosity. She isn’t afraid to observe from the sidelines, nor is she hesitant to invite others to share in her discoveries.
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In summary, my experience observing Lily has taught me to appreciate her unique way of engaging with the world. Her speech delay doesn’t define her; it’s just one facet of her vibrant personality.
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