My 10-year-old son recently took it upon himself to master Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” on the piano. He had just a few months of lessons last year, but after his dad fell ill, juggling a one-parent household became challenging with piano, soccer, basketball, and my daughter’s gymnastics. Though he couldn’t continue lessons, he still plays around on the piano every day.
Academically, he excels, earning straight As at school. He’s a solid goalie for his soccer team and even scored 8 points in a recent basketball game. He can solve any Rubik’s Cube you present to him and is a walking encyclopedia about the solar system. He often writes hand-written thank-you notes and is generally well-mannered. He’s a great kid, and I can’t help but believe he has the potential to change the world someday.
I’m sharing this not to brag, but to illustrate a point.
Recently, one of my writings online attracted a barrage of cruel comments aimed at me and my children. A significant number of hateful, judgmental remarks were directed our way. As a writer, especially one who shares her thoughts publicly, you learn to develop a thick skin. I typically respond to feedback with grace and sometimes choose not to engage at all. But when someone involves my children in a wave of negative and incorrect assumptions, I lose my composure.
One woman, a complete stranger, labeled my kids as “bastard children” in a comment. My four little ones, still reeling from losing their father to cancer just two months prior, were painted as despicable in her eyes. I know nothing about this woman—whether she’s married, has children, has experienced loss, or even if she owns a pet (my guess would be no, but maybe a snake). While it would be unfair to judge her in return, I can’t help but think if this is how she views innocent children, there’s likely a special place waiting for her someday.
Another individual commented that I should not have had children—or at least not “so many” if I “can’t control them.” Again, this is someone I’ve never met, who has never witnessed my son’s jubilant high fives after scoring the winning basket or looked into the warm, loving eyes of my daughters. He essentially implied they should never have existed. His disdain for children was evident in his spiteful remark.
I know what many will say: “Why do you care what strangers think?” “Don’t let them bother you.” But here’s the reason: I’ve developed enough resilience over the years to withstand the blows life delivers, but my children haven’t. It troubles me deeply that people like this exist—cold and uncaring individuals who may also be teaching their own children to be mean. That’s what really disturbs me.
These individuals are likely part of our everyday lives—our coworkers, store clerks, bus drivers, or even CEOs. Some intentionally choose cruelty, and those around them absorb that negativity, perpetuating a cycle of unkindness that births a new generation of mean-spirited individuals. That’s the difficult reality to accept.
Growing up, my mother often said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” She repeated it so frequently that I thought it was a law in Indiana. In today’s world, where sharing opinions is just a click away behind a smartphone or anonymous screen, I often ponder the satisfaction people derive from being unkind—often at the cost of someone’s feelings and self-worth. Why is it acceptable to belittle another person under the guise of “freedom of speech?” Shouldn’t we be instilling values of self-control, respect, and kindness in our children, regardless of differing opinions? Perhaps my mother’s saying should be a law.
Watching my son play the piano each day, I feel sadness at the thought that anyone could utter disparaging words about him. Who could possibly criticize a boy whose life experiences revolve around riding bikes, building forts, and walking his dog? How can anyone view him as anything but a child who believes in kindness and sees the good in the world?
Soon—sooner than I can imagine—he will venture into a world filled with mean people. I dread the thought of the hurtful comments my daughters might face, too. But I accept that I cannot shield them from it; no parent can.
However, we can teach our children to be kind. We can guide them to avoid being critical and encourage them to smile at strangers instead of scowling. We can instill the belief that not every opinion needs to be voiced, especially if it has the potential to hurt someone’s feelings. We can teach them the importance of refraining from negative speech.
These are the children who will grow up to be compassionate and respectful adults. They will understand the power of words to either heal or harm, and they will choose to share love instead of hate. Those are the individuals who can truly change the world.
If you’re interested in learning more about parenting and family, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination, where you can find further insights and tips.
In summary, while the world can be harsh, we have the power to shape the next generation into kind-hearted individuals. By teaching them essential values and respect for others, we can create a brighter future.
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