“Does anyone have a reliable babysitter available on short notice?”
This group chat message appeared on a Friday afternoon, quickly met with a flood of “nope!” and “good luck!” responses, along with crying emojis from unfamiliar numbers. The truth? No one is willing to part with that contact easily. Aside from the sender, none of these individuals were in my contacts, and none will hear back from me.
I could claim that the person asking wasn’t a close friend or that I was too busy wrangling my kids through the freezing night. However, the reality is that I just can’t share that number.
I have only one babysitter. Outside of family, there’s just one person I trust to care for my children. This isn’t about being choosy; it’s a serious matter. My five-year-old son has cerebral palsy, and lifting his forty pounds feels like carrying a hundred when navigating stairs or transferring him from the van to his wheelchair. His speech is limited, requiring a combination of intuition and lip-reading to understand his needs. His babysitter is a staff member at his preschool who has known him since he was two years old. I simply can’t risk losing the one person I trust.
Finding a responsible babysitter during this busy season can be a challenge, especially someone older than fourteen who is also friendly and affordable. Yet for families like mine, it goes beyond simple criteria.
It takes experience with children with disabilities, a certain rapport, and a level of understanding that is almost magical for me to feel at ease leaving my kids with someone outside my family. That contact labeled “babysitter” on my phone is sacred.
The need to protect this number developed from the moment we brought our son home from the hospital. He arrived with a tracheotomy, suction machine, oxygen monitor, and g-tube. Leaving the house was nearly impossible. Date nights were a distant dream. Just before I returned to work, we had to let go of a daycare we had planned for a year—how could we expect them to handle his specialized needs? Instead, he was cared for by a registered nurse or my mother.
Fortunately, as he grew, many of those medical concerns lessened. We no longer require a nurse, but we need someone physically capable and trained to meet his needs. Plus, I have twins who are lively and energetic, typical three-year-olds who demand just as much attention. They can turn a roll of toilet paper into a bathroom disaster in seconds. Although date nights are becoming possible again, they remain rare enough to make me feel a rush of excitement just from backing out of the driveway.
This is why I ignored that text. This is why I let someone else seek a babysitter. Our family’s needs require a unique skill set, akin to the Navy SEALs of babysitters. I can’t think of a mother with a child with special needs who wouldn’t feel the same. We already have limited free time and worry about our children’s safety; we can’t afford to hand out our trusted resources.
It’s not personal; it’s about managing our family’s needs. We must keep our trusted contacts close.
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In summary, sharing my babysitter’s number is simply not an option. My family’s unique situation demands a level of trust and expertise that is hard to find. When it comes to caring for my children, I must prioritize those who truly understand their needs.
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