Back in college, I dabbled with dildos—small ones, used exclusively with partners. They never made me feel uncomfortable. However, I never ventured into the world of vibrators. I had plenty of sexual experiences and, since I could easily reach orgasm, I questioned their necessity. I associated vibrators with those who needed extra assistance in that area and thought they felt oddly impersonal—almost like robot sex.
Fast forward ten years. After addressing my mental health struggles, I found myself on SSRIs along with a couple of other medications that seemed to rob my body of its natural sensations. As the years rolled on, my ability to orgasm diminished. More often than not, my husband and I would engage in sex, but let’s just say it didn’t end with everyone satisfied.
One night, after the kids were tucked in, my husband surprised me with a box. “I got you something!” he said. I opened it to discover—“Oh my gosh, you got me a vibrator!” I exclaimed.
“I thought it might help,” he replied. “Every girl I know says it’s like an automatic orgasm.”
“I’m not using a vibrator,” I protested.
“No,” he clarified. “I’m the one using the vibrator. You just relax and enjoy.”
That sounded much more appealing.
“And no, Jessica, it’s not robot sex, so don’t even think that way.”
We began our intimate session, and he prepared “The Thing,” a gadget that was a bit bulky, pink, and vaguely phallic. Once he turned it on and placed it on me, all my reservations quickly vanished. I experienced an orgasm like I hadn’t felt in years, and “The Thing” quickly transformed into “My Toy.” Now, it’s a regular companion during our intimate moments. Since I’ve had trouble reaching orgasm lately, my toy makes that concern irrelevant.
My husband executed the introduction of this new addition to our sex life flawlessly. First, he brought it up—literally handing it to me. He later confessed he was willing to lose the eighty bucks if it didn’t work, which is why he hadn’t opened the box beforehand. Generally, when introducing a new toy, it’s best to communicate with your partner ahead of time to ensure that you both enjoy what you’re getting. In this instance, I’m glad he took the reins, as I would have likely laughed him out of our Amazon Prime account if he had asked for my help picking one out. (I prefer to keep my sex toy purchases private!)
If you’re contemplating your first vibrator, reach out to trusted friends for recommendations and do your homework. The variety can be overwhelming.
He also gave me something crucial: choice. Since he initiated the idea, I had the power to veto it. Initially, I turned him down due to my unfounded robot sex bias, but he managed to change my mind. And boy, am I grateful he did! If I had felt uncomfortable or silly at any point, I could have told him to stop. That knowledge made me open to trying something new.
Additionally, he addressed my concerns directly. Aware of my thoughts on it being robot sex, he took the time to explain why it was a different experience. Since he was controlling the vibrator, it wasn’t some autonomous device. His effort to understand my feelings made me feel valued and ultimately persuaded me to give it a go.
Lastly, he emphasized that this was about us. While it certainly benefited me, as I could lay back and enjoy while he took charge, it satisfied him too. Seeing me experience pleasure is important to him, both as my partner and on a primal level. The introduction of this toy brought us closer together rather than driving a wedge between us, which was fantastic.
So fantastic, in fact, that I’m now considering upgrading my vibrator. I’ve heard that the more high-end versions tend to diverge from resembling phalluses, with options like the Hitachi wand—a favorite among many women. We’re even discussing the addition of cock rings. It seems safe to say he successfully converted me to the world of robot sex!
For more insights on enhancing your journey into parenthood, feel free to check out this article as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested in exploring more options, this guide is a great place to start.
Summary
My initial hesitations about using a vibrator with my husband faded away after he introduced one into our sex life. His thoughtful approach, attention to my feelings, and the shared experience strengthened our intimacy, making it a rewarding addition to our relationship. Now, I’m even looking to expand our collection of toys!
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