To say I’m glued to my phone would be an understatement. Between my full-time job that runs from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and the blog I manage with hundreds of thousands of followers, my phone is almost always in hand. When I’m not responding to queries from colleagues, I’m working on my blog. If it weren’t for my phone, I’d likely be stuck in my office instead of enjoying family time at home, my son’s sports practice, or my daughter’s dance class.
I appreciate that my phone allows me to balance work and family life, but the reality is that I’m often only half-present at home. I find myself answering my kids’ questions with distracted “umms” and “ohhhs,” failing to truly engage with what’s happening around me. This issue becomes glaringly obvious at dinner when my partner, Sarah, catches me sneaking glances at my phone, hidden under the table like a school kid sneaking a peek at social media in class. (Do kids still use Twitter? Maybe it’s all about TikTok now. But I digress.)
I always think she won’t notice, but she always does. When I pull out my phone at dinner, Sarah reacts as if I’ve committed a serious offense—and she’s probably right. She’s even leaned across the table, whispering, “If you don’t put that phone away, I’ll toss it in the toilet.” Her stern look is enough to make me rethink my priorities.
I know better than this, yet sometimes it feels impossible to put down that device. To be fair, Sarah isn’t entirely innocent either. I’ve lost count of how many times she’s agreed to our kids’ ridiculous requests while engrossed in her Candy Crush game in the kitchen. Still, if we were to rate our phone habits on a scale, I’d be a solid 10, while she might be a 6.
It’s clear that I’m not alone in my phone obsession—many parents are in the same boat. Go to any park, and you’ll see kids playing while nearly every parent is glued to their screens. The same scene unfolds at soccer games and gymnastics classes.
I don’t judge anyone for this; I’m right there with you. Adding another layer, my former therapist also advised me to limit my phone use—not solely for family reasons, but for my mental health. She pointed out that excessive social media use can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression.
So, I’ve decided it’s time for a change. I won’t be giving up my phone entirely—my job makes that impossible—but I will strive to unplug more often. I plan to leave my phone in the bedroom during dinner, keep it in my pocket at the park, and turn it off when watching shows like My Little Pony with my daughters or attending my son’s soccer games.
By reducing distractions, I hope to become more patient and engaged, truly present in my children’s lives. If I were to take a look back 20 years from now, I wouldn’t want to struggle to find moments where I wasn’t distracted by my phone while my kids were seeking my attention.
I know someone might comment about how they don’t own a smartphone or have social media, living life like it’s the 1800s. Good for you! I admire that lifestyle. However, I genuinely love my phone; it’s just time to love it a little less to fully enjoy these moments with my family.
If you relate to my struggle, I invite you to join me in unplugging. Designate specific times during the day—like dinner or playtime—to set your phone aside. Even small changes can lead to meaningful improvements in how we connect with our loved ones.
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In summary, recognizing our phone dependency is the first step toward making meaningful changes. By intentionally unplugging from our devices, we can cultivate a richer family life filled with genuine connections.
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