Two mothers walk into a café. One asks, “How have you been?” The other replies, “Oh, just busy.” Before long, they both receive phone calls, remember an urgent appointment, and dash out for a last-minute grocery run. Busy, busy, busy.
I should clarify: this isn’t a punchline. If you’re a mom, you probably understand this scenario all too well. It’s a conversation that happens daily, and you may have found yourself either saying or hearing these words far too often.
In American culture, busyness has become a badge of honor, almost a currency we trade. But should we really be celebrating this state of constant activity? Dr. Susan Koven, an internist, noted in the Boston Globe, “I’ve seen a troubling trend: patients suffering from a condition characterized by fatigue, irritability, insomnia, anxiety, headaches, heartburn, digestive issues, back pain, and weight gain. There are no specific tests for this, yet it’s easily identifiable. This condition is excessive busyness.”
If we’re honest with ourselves, Dr. Koven’s observation rings true. Insomnia, anxiety, irritability, and headaches are common signs of addiction. Are we, perhaps, addicted to our busyness? And if that’s the case, what are we trying to numb?
Recently, a friend asked me how my day was going. When I answered, “busy,” instead of sympathizing, she pressed, “What exactly do you have lined up today?” My initial reaction was defensive. How could she question my busyness? I had grocery shopping, cleaning, writing deadlines, kids’ gymnastics, a meal to prepare for a sick friend, and countless emails to tackle. I was just BUSY, for goodness’ sake!
After I finished listing my tasks, she smiled and said, “It sounds like you’ve taken on a lot, Sarah. Maybe you should take a break tomorrow to enjoy life a little more?” I felt annoyed by her comment. Why did she assume I wasn’t enjoying my life? I was simply busy—this wasn’t a complaint, right?
That night, after the kids were tucked in, I reflected on my feelings. Why was I so irked? She meant well, yet her innocent inquiry felt like an attack on my ego. I realized that despite all my grumbling, I actually craved busyness. It’s like a drug that brings me distress, yet I keep returning to it.
Many of us can probably relate. Each day, we choose to fill our calendars with more activities, take on additional work assignments, and cram every moment with tasks. Busy, busy, busy.
But why? We often lament about how overwhelmed we are, yet we continue to glorify this chaos. I think I understand why. Like a drug, we fall for the illusion that busyness equates to worth.
In our society, we link busyness to self-esteem and status. We share our hectic lives on social media, showcasing our packed schedules to prove how busy we are. From the moment we wake up, we’re strategizing how to fit in everything we need to do. We rush through breakfast, hastily send kids off, and hop on the fast track to chaos as if our lives depend on it.
But here’s the truth, parents: Our lives don’t hinge on this frenzy. We must stop equating our self-worth with our busyness. If we can detox from this relentless cycle and embrace moments of stillness, we might be surprised by what we discover within ourselves.
Psychologist Robert Holden said, “The purpose of your life is not to be as busy as possible. While busyness can be productive, a constant state of being busy often hides a lack of clarity, feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and a lack of trust in our soul’s ability to guide us toward our purpose.”
Take a moment to step away from the busyness. Your worth isn’t tied to your To-Do list. Sure, there will always be essential tasks and obligations, but most of us could probably let some of these go without our world crumbling. Doing so would benefit not just us, but also our families.
Because meaningful moments await us in the quiet, and you deserve to experience them. For more insights on fertility and family planning, check out this post on fertility boosters for men. If you’re interested in home insemination resources, visit BabyMaker’s home intracervical insemination syringe kit, as they are an authority on this topic. For further reading, Kindbody offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, our obsession with being busy may appear admirable, but it often conceals deeper issues. By recognizing our patterns and allowing ourselves moments of calm, we can enhance our lives and truly appreciate what matters.
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