Teaching children about consent is vital, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable at times. It’s essential for both boys and girls to understand this concept as early as possible. You can initiate these discussions in straightforward ways, emphasizing that they always have control over their own bodies. As they grow, you can expand on this by teaching them how to seek consent from their peers and how to navigate it in more intimate or romantic situations.
I get it—no parent wants to think about their kids exploring sexual relationships. However, it’s going to happen, and it’s crucial that they are prepared to engage in those experiences in a loving, enjoyable, and fully consensual manner. This goes beyond just kindness and respect; it’s fundamentally about safety.
The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey Report from the CDC reveals some alarming statistics: half of all rapes of females happen before they turn 18, with 22% occurring before age 12. Moreover, 1 in 5 females and 1 in 7 males experience sexual violations or violence in intimate relationships between the ages of 11 and 17. These figures highlight the urgent need to educate our children about body safety and consent as soon as possible.
Navigating these conversations can be tricky as kids grow older. I have a pre-teen son who would rather do anything than sit down for a discussion about consent. Thankfully, we started having these talks when he was younger, so even though he rolls his eyes now, he knows what I mean when I bring it up.
Parents definitely need support when tackling these important topics, and fortunately, there are many resources available today. One such resource is a fantastic video about consent that I highly recommend for parents of tweens and teens (and even younger children can benefit from it). This one-minute video, produced by The Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance, is available on YouTube.
In the video, two young teens—a boy and a girl—spend time together while clearly asking each other for consent in five different situations, receiving enthusiastic “yes” or “no” responses. It’s relatable and realistic, capturing typical activities like hanging out, gaming, and sharing a kiss on the stoop. Watching it together with my tween wouldn’t be too embarrassing at all!
Viewers are encouraged to identify the five moments of consent in the video, which can serve as a valuable conversation starter about how consent is essential in every aspect of life—not just during sexual encounters. By practicing consent in everyday interactions, kids will develop solid communication skills that will benefit them in more intimate relationships down the line.
The video is impactful on its own, but the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance has also compiled resources for parents and educators to facilitate meaningful discussions with kids. For parents feeling a bit at a loss for words, the guided questions provided in their resource sheet are incredibly helpful. One key point emphasized is that only an enthusiastic “yes” counts as consent; silence or a lack of a “no” does not imply agreement.
Our kids must learn to express their own “yeses” and “noes” clearly, and they must also become adept at listening to others and responding appropriately. While these conversations may feel awkward, they’re necessary. We must approach these discussions thoroughly, honestly, and with enthusiasm.
Fortunately, we’re not alone in this effort. There are resources like this engaging video to assist us, along with countless dedicated parents and educators striving to ensure that the next generation grows up in a safer, more respectful environment.
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In summary, educating our kids about consent is crucial for their safety and well-being. As parents, it’s our responsibility to initiate these conversations early and ensure they understand the importance of consent in all relationships.
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