I see you, pulling your child away from your leg at the school entrance, striving to keep your cool while silently hoping, with a forced smile, that they can hold it together and join their calm classmates who have entered the classroom without a second glance.
I notice you in the grocery store, trying to prevent your little one from toppling the neat stack of apples while they leap to grab that perfect banana that, “Mommy, you absolutely must buy!”
I observe you change the topic or stall when your child poses a question that could lead to a letdown in front of others—anything to divert attention and avoid another public meltdown.
I see you at playdates, where other moms chat about their lives, swap recipes, and discuss adult topics that you crave, yet you stay close to your child who needs you every moment for this or that.
I see you conceal your tears as one child after another tells your little one to “Go away!” after they ask to play, knowing that your child requires extra patience—a tall order for their peers. You feel this keenly because, on many days, it’s too much for you, and yet every rejection stings anew as you witness your child’s overwhelming emotions push others away.
I see you at “family-friendly” events where adults sip drinks, engaging in lighthearted conversations without worrying about the potential dangers lurking around—like the second-story balcony or fragile family heirlooms. But you? You live in constant anxiety that your child may tumble from something high or have an emotional outburst that rivals the antics of Veruca Salt.
You often find yourself sitting in the car with your child strapped into their car seat, instead of walking onto campus to pick up your older child. They dislike when you talk to anyone, and even the thought of navigating those emotional landmines is exhausting. Five minutes of quiet in one spot feels like a luxury you can’t explain to those whose children play independently or let them shower or even walk into another room alone.
Your days are filled with unexpected challenges, scrapes, and BIG emotions. Routine tasks require meticulous planning, a bag packed with carefully selected snacks, and essential items stashed in the trunk, just in case.
I recognize you because I am you. We are the moms who apologize to other parents when our children collide with theirs—physically or emotionally. We comfort our upset little ones who find the social dynamics of the playground overwhelming. While other kids play freely, building sandcastles and racing down slides, our children cling to us, unable to make a move without our assistance.
When you’re raising a child who experiences emotions at a heightened level, both their heart and yours overflow with intensity. These spirited kids possess an insatiable curiosity and a profound desire to connect with the world around them; they want to touch everything and everyone. It’s exhausting, yet their exuberance for life is infectious, always discovering the extraordinary within the ordinary.
They notice the very day the first flower blooms in the garden, the softness of their dog’s black ear compared to the white one, or how raindrops on a window create intricate patterns when you trace your fingers through them on a rainy morning. With an unmatched intensity, we understand how it feels to have a small, adoring child press their face against yours, hold your cheeks in tiny hands, look you in the eyes, and say, “I love you, Mommy, you’re the most amazing mommy in the entire universe,” with a pure devotion that is rarer than unicorns or Sasquatch.
To the mom of the child who wears their emotions on their sleeve: I raise a virtual “Cheers!” to you with a large, fully caffeinated cup of coffee. While we might not cross paths at those well-organized mommy groups or exercise classes we rarely attend, and definitely not at social events, I see you. If we ever manage to find a distraction-free moment for a conversation, I’m certain we would become friends.
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In summary, raising an intense child is a journey filled with challenges, but it also offers profound moments of connection and joy. We are not alone in this experience; we are part of a community that understands the unique trials and triumphs of parenting spirited kids.
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