We are fortunate to have two daughters on the autism spectrum who exhibit vastly different social behaviors. Before Mia received her diagnosis, people often described her as “just shy” or “very serious.” She struggled in large gatherings, found noisy environments overwhelming, and needed time to warm up to new faces. Mia is often seen as an introvert, and while she isn’t typically affectionate, her rare moments of warmth are truly heartwarming.
At just four years old, before her diagnosis, Mia came home from kindergarten puzzled about why a classmate wanted to hold her hand during a song. When I asked her why she resisted, she simply replied, “I don’t know her well, so I don’t want her touching me.” That made perfect sense to me.
In stark contrast, my other daughter, Lily, is a completely different story. Before her ASD diagnosis, I often heard that she couldn’t possibly be autistic because she was “too social.” Lily loves interacting with people and frequently runs up to strangers at the library to ask them to read her stories. She’s affectionate and thrives on cuddles, easily making friends and charming everyone with her warm personality.
Despite the differences in their personalities, both Mia and Lily are on the spectrum. How can this be? It’s simple: being an introvert or extrovert has no bearing on autism.
Think of it like being left- or right-handed. Mia struggles with making connections due to the complexities of social interactions, while Lily has difficulty understanding appropriate social boundaries and respecting others’ personal space. For Mia, friendships involve many gray areas that can feel overwhelming, while Lily doesn’t yet grasp that not everyone appreciates an unsolicited hug.
Many everyday social tasks come naturally to neurotypical individuals, like knowing how to comfort someone who’s sad or what to say when receiving a compliment. For children like Mia and Lily, these tasks can be challenging and require significant effort.
Teaching social skills can be a delicate process, demanding patience. With Mia, we often use “comic strip conversations” to break down social situations and help her recognize others’ emotions. We’ve also found books that simplify social concepts incredibly useful, providing her with tools she can apply when needed.
With Lily, we focus on understanding emotions and facial expressions, emphasizing how our words can affect others. Shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood have been invaluable as they present social stories that cover various scenarios, from getting dressed to handling feelings of sadness. They even offer an app that delves into emotions.
Using hula hoops has been a fun way to teach Lily about personal space, providing a clear visual boundary when we’re outside enjoying meals.
It’s crucial to remember that being “shy” or “outgoing” does not define autism. Individuals on the spectrum can embody both characteristics. There are so many misconceptions about autism that need to be addressed.
I see you, girls. I admire your uniqueness and strength.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this home insemination kit as well as boost fertility supplements to help on your parenting journey. If you’re interested in more in-depth information on conception, consider visiting this Wikipedia page on IVF.
Summary:
This article highlights the diverse social challenges faced by two autistic sisters, Mia and Lily, showcasing how autism can manifest differently in individuals. While Mia is introverted and cautious about social interactions, Lily is outgoing and affectionate, demonstrating that social behavior isn’t a definitive marker of autism. The piece stresses the importance of understanding and addressing these differences while debunking myths surrounding autism.
Leave a Reply