I have to be honest, everyone: today was not my best day as a mom. I’m expecting a baby, feeling exhausted, and my emotions are all over the place. My 3-year-old daughter is in a particularly demanding mood, and I just can’t take it anymore. It’s time for a mental health day, even if that concept is nearly nonexistent in the world of motherhood.
When our partners come down with even the mildest of ailments, suddenly they require all the attention. I end up waiting on them, preparing tea and soup to soothe their woes, while simultaneously whipping up peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk for my daughter. Their needs never seem to align.
But when moms are unwell, it’s a different story. Even if we’re running a fever, we still have to manage the chaos. “Mom, I need this! Right now!” “Honey, where did I put my keys?” (for the umpteenth time) “I don’t want to wear pink pants; I want purple pants!” (cue the dramatic meltdown.) The demands never stop, and the show must go on — no matter what.
Well, today, I’m drawing the line! I’m exhausted, my head hurts, and I’m dealing with all the hormonal changes that come with growing a tiny human while also trying to keep up with my slightly larger one. Just when I thought I could catch a break, my partner handed me a list of upcoming work trips. Ugh.
So today, I’m putting myself first. I’m opting to lounge on the couch and binge-watch reruns of Gilmore Girls instead of tackling the mountain of dishes in the sink. When a friend calls just to chat, I find myself in tears because I need to let out all the frustrations instead of pretending everything’s fine. I decide to let my daughter watch TV while I take a long, relaxing shower.
I even allow her to play on the iPad while I write this, hoping that by expressing my feelings, I can start to feel better. Chocolate milk for the afternoon? Sure! I’m too tired to argue. Three fruit snacks for lunch? Why not? She thinks it’s the best day ever, while I can’t help but feel it’s a disaster. It’s funny how perspective works.
In the end, will my daughter suffer from a sugar overload? Probably not. Is she going to be traumatized by watching three hours of TV? Not likely. Will she turn into a spoiled child because I let her have her way today? I really hope not! But will she benefit from having an emotionally healthy mom? Absolutely.
As mothers, we often struggle to carve out time for ourselves. When asked what I do for self-care, I had a tough time answering. Then it hit me — if we give everything to our families, we risk losing ourselves. This can lead to feelings of depression, bitterness, and resentment, none of which are helpful for our kids. I want to model strength, independence, and compassion for my daughter, but I can only do that if I nurture myself first.
Taking time for myself feels odd, but when I do, the difference is immense. I feel revitalized, confident, and more capable of being a good mom, wife, and friend. Today, I stepped away from my responsibilities, but moving forward, I want to be more proactive about checking in with myself and addressing my needs before I feel depleted. Just like we schedule doctor visits for physical health, mental and emotional well-being deserves the same attention. Though it might feel selfish, it’s crucial.
As we step into this new year, I challenge myself and all the moms out there to prioritize self-care. Start small — maybe weekly — and gradually make it a daily routine. I’m sharing this to hold myself accountable and hope it inspires others to do the same.
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In summary, today was a reminder that it’s okay to take a break and prioritize mental health. Finding that balance is crucial not only for us but also for our children.
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