If you’re an avid viewer of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, there’s a good chance I’ve silently critiqued your choices in the past. For years, I’ve scrolled through social media, rolling my eyes at endless posts from friends enamored with this shallow spectacle. Friends who possess advanced degrees and impressive vocabularies swooning over men who turn to reality TV to find a partner. I’ve watched them revel in catfights, excessive hairspray, and an abundance of cleavage—and I judged them for it.
I couldn’t fathom why women would support a show where twenty contestants compete for a man with dubious social skills. For 21 seasons, my friends have hosted premiere parties adorned with roses and themed cocktails while I witnessed their social media meltdowns when, yet again, the blonde was chosen over the brunette. I often listened in disbelief as they recounted episodes during moms’ nights, pondering, “How did we end up here? What is this madness? Why do we care about a girl named Lily breaking some guy named Jason’s heart?”
And don’t even get me started on The Bachelorette. The level of absurdity was just too much for me to handle. That was until, against my better judgment, and while under the influence of Nyquil, I unintentionally tuned into the premiere of Season 22 three weeks ago. I blame the Nyquil and my inability to grab the remote to turn it off.
You guys. I watched my first episode of The Bachelor and now I have feelings. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. My husband had to endure this spectacle with me because if I was going down this rabbit hole, he was coming with me. We sat on the couch, transfixed by the unfolding drama as if a magical spell had been cast to prevent us from switching to something more intellectually stimulating like Jeopardy.
As we watched the contestants (is that even the right term? I’m still figuring this out) arrive at a grand mansion in unusual ways, I noticed my husband was particularly taken with a contestant named Jenna, who drove up in a classic convertible. We immediately sensed that Tara, with a flair for the dramatic, would be a handful, and we were baffled by why Michelle was running around with a mask on her face during the first half of the show.
There was so much to unpack. As the episode progressed, we vowed to be the couple that would only watch to poke fun at Jason and his entourage of perfectly coiffed contestants. “Just one episode,” we agreed, “to see what all the fuss is about.” Fast forward to three episodes later, and we’re fully committed to this show, and our lives have taken a bizarre turn.
“Did you record The Bachelor?” my husband asked last week, a phrase I would have deemed grounds for a breakup just six months prior. But now? His newfound enthusiasm for our guilty pleasure makes me giddy.
We’ve sat in wide-eyed bewilderment, learning the ropes of this reality TV phenomenon. There are one-on-one dates, group outings, and even demolition derbies! One memorable group date involved former wrestlers teaching the ladies how to perform moves in front of crying children at a dog park. Quality television, folks—how did I miss out on this for the last decade?
When Lauren C. was sent home after a lackluster date at a vineyard, I felt genuine sympathy for her. It was as if my heart was breaking for someone whose connection was only five days old. And now, I find myself using phrases like “heartbreak” when discussing a reality TV show. What is happening to me?
Perhaps our favorite so far has been the dog park date, where the ladies had to showcase their new furry friends in front of a bunch of preschoolers. This is pure gold, and I’m sorry I was oblivious to this genius for so long.
So, here I am, totally invested in this absurdity, and I can’t help but cheer for Jason and Jenna. Don’t break my heart, okay? By the way, would you accept my rose invitation to my Final Rose Ceremony party? I’m crafting a signature cocktail for the occasion. Shhh, don’t tell anyone!
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In summary, I’ve taken an unexpected plunge into the world of The Bachelor, and it’s been a wild ride filled with unexpected emotions and laughter. My husband and I are now fully engaged in this reality TV phenomenon, and I can’t wait to see where it leads us.
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