There’s a phrase I’m officially removing from my life: “Do your best.” For years, it has lingered in my thoughts, leaving behind guilt and rigid expectations that have constrained my mind. I’ve let this phrase push me into a corner far too often, and I’m ready to stand up for myself. This time, it’s not me—it’s you, “Do your best”! I’m done with it.
“Do your best”—it sounds harmless, right? But lurking beneath its surface is a sharp edge that can wound. Seriously, who actually gives their best all the time? Who is fully engaged in each endeavor, executing tasks with unwavering precision? Who flawlessly articulates their thoughts during heated discussions? Who lives without filters?
Oh, you do? Great, you can stop reading.
Let me clarify: your best is truly incredible! I’ve witnessed it at those unforgettable birthday parties you throw for your kids, or during the time you celebrated your spouse’s milestone birthday with flair. I see the love and effort you put into comforting your little ones during tough nights, or how you rally around your friends in their moments of joy.
Your best shines through in that race you prepped for tirelessly, the heartfelt speech you delivered at your parents’ anniversary, or the courage it took to sing to your mother as she passed. Your best is celebrated everywhere, from your social media posts to the glimmer in your eyes. But let’s be honest: life isn’t always Instagram-worthy, and it certainly isn’t always your personal best.
Imagine if you could simply do what you can, instead of striving for your “best” all the time. You don’t have to measure your worth against the curated highlights of others’ lives or even what your inner critic demands. You can give your all until you’re burned out, but that’s a recipe for exhaustion. Can we please retire the “always do your best” slogan? It’s a harsh taskmaster. Sometimes, not being your best is perfectly acceptable.
When my kids are having mac and cheese for dinner because I didn’t get around to meal prepping, is that truly my best? No, and that’s okay. The “best” is often about top-notch presentation, and sometimes I’m fine with skipping that.
Is every workout a record-breaking performance? Are all report cards perfect? Does every dish emerge from the oven unscorched? Absolutely not. The idea of “best” isn’t the only valid measure of effort or outcome, so let’s allow ourselves some grace.
When is “not best” good enough? When I find myself scrolling through my phone late at night because I desperately need a moment of solitude. Or when I wake up tangled with my partner because I was too exhausted to enforce boundaries. Or when my conversations with my pre-teen shift from pleasant chats to brief replies and escalate into arguments, leaving me feeling less than my best.
When my child is on her third repeat of a movie because I’m too “morning sick” to engage, or simply too overwhelmed to be the perfect parent, is that really so bad? Sure, there are excuses, but sometimes we need to quit measuring our worth from lofty standards.
What about the days when everything feels overwhelming? When I lose my temper and take it out on those I love, only to feel ashamed afterward? In those moments, I ask for forgiveness and try again. When just breathing through the day feels like a victory, my “best” can take a backseat while my “not best” steps in to hold things together.
Because really, effort counts. Sometimes, “best” is overrated. I can offer what I have at this moment, and I now have a welcoming space that’s much more forgiving. There’s room for complexity, mistakes, and joy in my life.
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Summary: The phrase “do your best” is often unrealistic and can lead to unnecessary pressure and guilt. It’s essential to recognize that not every day will be perfect, and that’s okay. Allowing ourselves to simply do what we can—without striving for unattainable standards—can lead to a healthier mindset and a more fulfilling life.
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