As someone who has battled depression and anxiety throughout my life, I was particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression (PPD). After welcoming three children into my life, I experienced PPD to varying extents each time. With my first baby, I dealt with postpartum anxiety, which manifested as constant visits to the doctor for every little sneeze and rash. After my second, I faced mild postpartum depression, often referred to as the “Baby Blues.” By the time my third child arrived, the overwhelming guilt and shame consumed me.
Throughout all these experiences, one phrase consistently echoed from those around me: “It’s just hormones. You’re so blessed!” While I believe they meant well, hearing this sentiment stung each time.
As a society, we often forget to recognize the humanity of new mothers. When a mom says, “I’m so tired,” it’s met with laughter and nostalgic comments about how “every mother goes through it.” Unlike the inquiries made during pregnancy, there’s a lack of genuine concern about mental health after childbirth. Instead, invasive questions about their bodies and choices become the norm, reducing their experiences to mere public discussion.
Living with postpartum depression feels like being engulfed in flames while everyone around you celebrates. You know you should feel grateful for your new baby, yet the struggle to find joy is real. The clock ticks away, and while time is precious, you may find yourself feeling exhausted, unkempt, and disconnected from the world. Your child grows, and you sit engulfed in the chaos, feeling invisible.
When you encounter a new mother, resist the urge to point out her blessings. She is acutely aware of them. Instead, help her reclaim her identity beyond being just a “Mother.” Offer her nourishment, assist with the baby, or lend a hand so she can take a shower or catch a nap. Plants don’t win lotteries, and lampposts don’t count their blessings. To genuinely support a new mom, acknowledge her struggles and help her feel human again.
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In summary, when supporting mothers dealing with postpartum depression, prioritize empathy over platitudes. Acknowledge their struggles, and help them regain their sense of self.

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