Each week, I find myself taken aback by a common question: “Hey Samantha! Adorable little one! Are you at home with him full-time? What ELSE do you have going on?” When did being a stay-at-home mom stop being considered a full-time job in itself?
If I’m being honest, I used to judge other stay-at-home moms, especially those with just one child. I thought, really, how demanding can it be to spend time with a baby? It seemed like it would be a walk in the park. But then I had my own child, and WOW—those first few months were tougher than I ever anticipated. Breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and the constant needs of a newborn took their toll. REM sleep? That was a distant memory.
As many moms often return to work after three months, particularly in places like Nevada, I’ve come to realize the challenges of parenting in this state. I read an article on my pregnancy app stating that Nevada ranks as the third least favorable state for raising children, sitting at 47th out of 50. That’s disheartening! With lower wages here, it’s common for both parents to work just to keep things afloat.
This creates a divide among moms: those who stay home often face resentment from those who wish they could but need to work, while society seems to question why stay-at-home moms aren’t “doing it all.” It’s a stark contrast to the values I grew up with, where staying home was seen as a noble pursuit. Now, women are expected to juggle work, family, and extracurricular activities for their kids, leading to narratives like those in Bad Moms—it’s impossible to do everything perfectly.
I’ve always been an overachiever, and throughout my pregnancy, I felt confined by my limitations. After giving birth, I realized my life was now divided into short, chaotic segments of time. The challenge of being a stay-at-home mom is coming to terms with this reality—learning to be selfless and investing your time, energy, and sleep into nurturing a tiny human.
It’s equally important to navigate the frustration that arises from others questioning why you’re not doing more. Part of this stems from my own overachieving tendencies; I often struggle to let go of the notion that I should be accomplishing a multitude of tasks each day, when in reality, completing just one meaningful thing is enough.
This journey has opened my eyes to the judgments I previously held against other women. I now recognize the need to allow others the freedom to make their own choices about how they spend their time. Instead of questioning their decisions, I aim to support them in staying true to their own paths.
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In summary, the journey of being a stay-at-home mom is filled with challenges and societal expectations. It’s a learning experience that requires patience, self-acceptance, and a shift in perspective about what truly matters.
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