By: Jenna Morgan
Date: Jan. 26, 2018
Image Credit: Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty Images
Since I was 11 years old, I’ve understood that my attraction to women was genuine, while simultaneously falling head over heels for men. Although I’ve had more relationships with men, it doesn’t lessen my feelings for women. I once had a long-term relationship with a man, and together we welcomed a child into our lives. Yet, my attraction to women remains unwavering, and I proudly embrace my identity as a bisexual woman.
Being a mother does not diminish my bisexuality. Just because I have chosen to be in a heterosexual relationship and have a child doesn’t mean I am any less bisexual than someone who actively seeks relationships with both genders.
One of the significant challenges I’ve faced in accepting my bisexuality has been the quest for validation and acceptance. In my teenage years, many friends dismissed my feelings as a mere phase, unaware that I had been grappling with my identity since I was young. When I expressed my attraction to women but pursued relationships with men, people often invalidated my bisexuality based on the relationships I chose to pursue.
Despite my silence, my feelings persisted. I had posters of pop icons not just because I admired them, but because I found them attractive. I kept those feelings close to my heart, fearful of how others would react. My bedroom became my sanctuary, a place where I could be true to myself without judgment.
My only romantic experience with a woman happened when I was 17. While it was brief and primarily physical, it was life-changing for me. It confirmed the feelings I had been harboring, but when my friends dismissed it, my confidence waned, causing me to focus solely on relationships with men.
When I revealed my bisexuality to men, their reactions often turned it into something crude and fetishized. As a result, I kept my identity largely to myself, only sharing it with those I trusted. However, everything changed in October when I decided to publicly embrace my bisexuality with family and friends.
The support I received was overwhelmingly positive, but I was taken aback by the messages from others who share my experience. Many bisexual women, some also mothers, felt inspired to reveal their truths after seeing me come out. They expressed comfort in knowing they weren’t alone in their struggles.
Now that I’m single, I remain open to the possibility of dating women if the right opportunity arises. Juggling parenting a young child while navigating the dating world is challenging, but I’m prepared to explore connections with whoever enters my life. There’s a woman I’m drawn to, although she lives across the country, making a relationship unlikely. Nevertheless, she is the first woman in years I genuinely want to pursue, and she understands my situation as a mother.
I often ponder how to explain a potential same-sex relationship to my four-year-old son. He has only known me in a context of my past relationship with his father, and while I’ve taught him about different types of love, I worry about how he would perceive my involvement with a woman.
The future is uncertain regarding my romantic life, but one thing is clear: regardless of the path I take, my bisexuality remains intact. My identity isn’t defined by the number of relationships I have but by who I am at my core. If I were to marry a man and have more children, I would still be drawn to women. Being bisexual is not contingent on my current partner; it’s simply part of who I am.
To all the bisexual mothers out there feeling less than whole, know that you are not diminished in any way. Your identity is valid, regardless of how you express it.
If you’re looking for more information about home insemination, visit Make a Mom’s blog for valuable insights. They also offer resources on self insemination, such as the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit that can be helpful. Additionally, Women’s Health has excellent resources on pregnancy and infertility.
Summary:
This article explores the complexities of being a bisexual mother, detailing the author’s journey of self-acceptance and the challenges faced in a society that often invalidates bisexuality. It highlights the importance of embracing one’s identity and offers solidarity to other bisexual mothers navigating similar experiences.
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