When your child’s teacher reaches out to discuss their progress, it’s usually not a sign of good news. There’s a glimmer of hope that they might be calling to share how brilliant your child is, but more often than not, it’s a call to address concerns. I found myself in this situation when my son’s kindergarten teacher contacted me one day while I was at work. She confirmed my fears: he was struggling.
From the beginning, I sensed that things weren’t going smoothly for him. His early days in kindergarten were rocky. He was resistant to going to class, often arguing with his sister and acting out with the babysitter. His self-esteem was taking a hit, and I couldn’t help but wonder if we had made the right choice by enrolling him in school at such a young age.
Born in November, my son was just barely eligible for kindergarten, making him the youngest in his class. While his peers were celebrating their sixth birthdays, he was still counting down to five. Just a few months prior, he had been playing with blocks, and now he was expected to grasp letter sounds and write them down. It was no surprise that he was having difficulty.
My partner and I debated the idea of “redshirting” him—delaying his start in kindergarten to give him additional time to develop socially and academically. We weighed the pros and cons, and the arguments for sending him to school seemed to outweigh the single con of him being younger than his classmates. His preschool teacher believed he was ready, and we feared he might grow bored if he stayed back. Financially, keeping him in preschool for another year felt daunting too.
However, I failed to grasp how significant being the youngest child would be. My daughter, born in April, was right in the middle of her class, and I didn’t fully understand the impact of those extra months on my son’s development.
Watching my son struggle through kindergarten has been challenging. Seeing him come home deflated, his excitement for school waning, and hearing him express self-doubt at such a young age was hard. Perhaps he would have been better off playing with trucks instead of tackling complex tasks meant for older kids.
During that phone call with his teacher, she laid out a plan for additional support. He would receive extra help in class a few times a week, and occupational therapy to assist him with his pencil grip. She assured me she would follow up at the next parent-teacher conference to assess if further action was necessary. I felt a bit relieved; it seemed manageable.
Since then, things have taken a turn for the better. At our meeting, while I still found his schoolwork puzzling, his teacher expressed optimism about his progress. My son, now five, has been returning home excited to share what he’s learned. He can sound out words and has a newfound interest in math. Although getting him to sit down for homework remains a challenge, I can see he’s making strides.
Did we make the right decision? It’s difficult to say. There’s a lingering feeling that we may have deprived him of a more carefree early childhood. I also grapple with the guilt of exposing him to stress and self-doubt at such a tender age. Was all this necessary? I can’t predict how he would have fared if we had chosen to hold him back, but I do know children are remarkably resilient. He’s returning to his cheerful, playful self and starting to act more like the older kids in his class.
In the end, while I wonder about the potential drawbacks of his early school start, I also recognize that he’s finding his way.
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Summary
The decision to send my son to kindergarten at a young age has left me with regrets about his struggles with self-esteem and academic challenges. Despite seeing improvement in his attitude and performance, I often wonder if delaying his start would have been better. Parents should explore various resources and options when facing similar dilemmas in their children’s education.
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