My youngest son is now 10 and a half, but in my mind, he feels like he’s already 33, fully capable of navigating life on his own. That’s what I keep convincing myself: my weary, overwhelmed, I’ve-seen-it-all mother self. I also reassure myself that he doesn’t need me as much emotionally, physically, or socially since he has three older brothers who provide that nurturing and guidance.
For the past five years, I’ve essentially put him on auto-pilot since he started kindergarten. With my newfound freedom after the last child began school, I kind of checked out of motherhood. I felt I had earned this break after over a decade of caring for little ones. The downside? Once I disengaged, I didn’t really re-engage. He was in school, so naturally, I thought he needed me less. I was thrilled about that, but little did I realize that just because he appeared self-sufficient, it didn’t mean he truly was.
I had gladly left him to fend for himself, telling myself it was perfectly normal not to be needed as much anymore. Thank goodness for that, too, because my capacity for parenting had been running on fumes for years. He’d be fine, I told myself. No need to hover or over-parent — he’s got this!
Then, one day, it hit me: he didn’t have this. It was time for me to step back into my role as a mother. I had neglected my parental responsibilities for far too long, and the realization hit hard when I saw this confused child who needed direction. His struggles were a reflection of my indifference — not because he was inherently bad, but because I had unintentionally left a ten-year-old to raise himself. We all know how that story goes.
Having a large family often leads to chaotic situations fueled by a house full of children. Amid the laughter and daily challenges, there’s often a mother who feels utterly drained. The repetition of parenting the same stages of childhood can feel like torture, leading us to loosen our grip on our youngest kids just to stay afloat. When these little ones appear to thrive independently, we often forget to give them the same attention we lavished on our firstborns. Until one day, we wake up and realize we hardly know our youngest child.
My youngest deserves the same attentive mother I was to my first child, and even though it’s challenging and tempting to give up, I know I have to persevere. I owe him more than just the bare minimum; he deserves my full engagement.
Will I parent him like I did when I had just one child? Not at all. But I believe I can be that mom with a wealth of parenting experience while also recognizing my youngest as his own unique person, rather than just another child to mold.
Everyone talks about the challenges of being a new mom, but few mention the difficulties of navigating the later years when you’re eager to reclaim your own identity while still having a child who needs you. We focus so much on starting motherhood strong that we often forget the importance of finishing strong. Regardless, I am determined to finish this journey with my youngest, even if I crawl across the finish line. That medal of motherhood will be a testament to my perseverance.
For those exploring parenthood, check out our post about the at-home insemination kit, a helpful resource for those considering their options. If you’re looking for more specialized tools, the cryobaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo is also highly recommended. Additionally, for further information on insemination methods, this overview from Cleveland Clinic is an excellent resource.
In summary, parenting can be an overwhelming journey, especially for mothers of multiple children. As we navigate the chaos, it’s essential to remember that our youngest children still need our attention and support, even when they seem self-sufficient. Engaging fully with them is crucial, and while it may feel exhausting, it’s a commitment worth pursuing.
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