As I walked into the locker room after my swim at the local gym, I steeled myself for the familiar sight of nudity that awaited me in the women’s dressing area. Having been a regular for years, I knew that women over forty often felt free to embrace their bodies—often too free, if you ask me.
But nothing could prepare me for the shocking scene that day. A completely naked woman had her leg propped up on a bench while she was applying lotion—yes, lotion—right into her butt crack. Seriously, people?! I’m all for skincare, but some things just shouldn’t be done in public.
As luck would have it, my locker was right next to hers. I tried to look away, but it was impossible. To my horror, she turned around and entered the combination to her locker with the same hand that was just… ugh. Locker number 53 is now off-limits for me.
Listen up, gym-goers: we need to put an end to this gross behavior in our workout spaces. I can’t endure any more incidents that make me question my hygiene due to your laziness. We’re all in this together, so let’s show some consideration when it comes to sharing equipment and space.
And we all know the offenders—those who think gym rules don’t apply to them, or those who believe their sweat doesn’t have an odor. Well, guess what? I see you, and I’m calling out your nonsense. Yes, you need to wipe down the equipment after using it. How hard can that be to grasp? You’ve just spent half an hour sweating buckets on that elliptical, and now your sweat is all over it. I’ll share the machine, but I refuse to take your germs home with me—thank you very much!
And Chad, let’s talk about treadmill etiquette. Just because you’re prepping for a marathon doesn’t mean you get to monopolize the treadmill. I’ve spent ages wrangling my kid into a snowsuit and don’t have time to wait for you to finish your endless run. And while we’re at it, just because you’ve claimed bike #7 for your last 35 spin classes doesn’t mean you own it. I paid good money to be here too, so find another bike!
Also, can we please stop walking barefoot in the locker room? This isn’t some tropical paradise! Feet are already gross, and after a workout? No thanks. Grab a cheap pair of flip-flops and spare us all the sight of your bare feet.
And for the love of all that is decent, please don’t engage me in conversation in the sauna. I’m trying to relax, not make small talk while wrapped in a towel. Oh, and don’t sit too close—personal space, please! When I’m on the treadmill, I’m there to work out, not to gossip about the latest news.
And to the show-off in the weight area: yes, we all saw you lift those weights. You didn’t need to grunt like you were in labor while you did it—seriously, we get it.
And can we address the absolute audacity of blow-drying your pubes in public? I can’t believe I even have to say this, but it’s time to stop. No one wants to see that.
Lastly, older patrons, you don’t have exclusive rights to the swim lanes. Sure, your 1950s bathing cap is charming, but kindly take your water aerobics elsewhere. I respect my elders, but not when they’re hogging the lanes.
Gym etiquette isn’t rocket science. It takes just a few extra seconds to wipe down machines or put on flip-flops in the locker room. Exercising is tough enough without having to deal with people who think it’s okay to blast their music without headphones or engage in public grooming.
And for heaven’s sake, please leave your butt lotion at home!
In summary, let’s all commit to being more considerate in our shared spaces. It’s not just about you; it’s about all of us enjoying a clean and respectful environment.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this article and explore this resource for valuable information. If you’re looking for a home insemination kit, this combo kit is a great choice!
Leave a Reply