We’ve all experienced that moment at the grocery store. You’re juggling a sleeping baby strapped to your chest, trying to keep a hyperactive toddler entertained while your older child is whining about something insignificant. You’re desperate for a cup of coffee, and, to make matters worse, you really need to use the restroom.
An older woman in line behind you lets out a nostalgic sigh. You glance back to see if she’s judging your toddler’s messy face, but instead, she says, “I remember those days. They fly by so fast! My kids are grown now. They’re little for such a short time. Cherish every moment.”
And there it is—the most grating phrase a parent of young children can hear.
You’re often running on empty, feeling like you’re barely keeping it together. Some days are challenging, and moments can be downright awful. How can anyone expect you to relish every second of this exhausting phase?
As a mother whose youngest just turned ten, I can assure you that it’s not feasible, nor should you feel pressured to do so.
However, as I reflect on those younger years, I’ve begun to grasp what people mean when they urge you to cherish every moment. Not every second is magical or even enjoyable, but amidst the chaos, there are truly beautiful moments. It’s essential to fully engage and appreciate those fleeting instances. Make a conscious effort to notice them. Commit them to memory. Be present during those lovely times because they are brief.
The daily grind of motherhood can easily weigh you down. Feeding, cleaning, and comforting can feel endless. And when your little ones are throwing tantrums or creating chaos, it’s hard to find joy in parenting. We often wish for nothing but sunshine and snuggles, but the reality is filled with noise, mess, and exhaustion, punctuated by wonderful moments.
It’s these moments you should savor. Because when your son shyly turns away from your kiss for the first time, or when your daughter gets behind the wheel of a car, you’ll need those cherished memories to help you through the bittersweet transitions.
You might need a gentle reminder to appreciate those little instances—like when they smell divine or their laughter fills the air. In those overwhelming moments at the grocery store, when you feel unshowered and drained, it’s easy to forget the beauty in what you’re experiencing. I know that even though the phrases from older moms about “cherishing every moment” could be irritating, they did remind me to relish the joyful instances during my kids’ early years.
If I see you overwhelmed with little ones, I’ll try to express it differently. I might say, “I remember those days. They can be tough, but so sweet. The days may feel long, but the years truly are short. Savor the moments when they’re not screaming or running in circles. You won’t miss everything about this stage, but you will miss some things—their soft skin, their unreserved affection, their infectious giggles. Hold onto those memories. Embrace them when you can. And remember, even if it feels impossible now, one day you’ll feel like yourself again.”
Or perhaps I’ll simply smile and say, “You’re doing great, mama.”
You don’t have to enjoy every moment of motherhood at any stage. It’s unrealistic to expect that from anyone. Yet, it’s vital to make the most of the good moments when they arise. In hindsight, time flies, and you’ll cherish each moment you consciously appreciated.
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In summary, while not every moment of parenting is enjoyable, it’s important to treasure the beautiful instances that come your way.
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