Welcoming a baby into the world is a monumental life change. For nine months, your body transforms in ways you never expected. Some days, you feel on top of the world, while others leave you irritable and exhausted. You tell yourself that these emotional ups and downs are just part of the journey, and that they’ll vanish once your little one arrives.
However, what many don’t realize is that for numerous women, these emotional fluctuations can persist long after the baby is born. After my daughter was born, I was overjoyed. She was our little miracle after experiencing a heartbreaking loss, and I eagerly anticipated her arrival. My heart swelled with love, and I thought the hardest part was behind me.
But around the time she turned three months old, I began to feel a sense of overwhelm that was different from typical new mom fatigue. The joy I once felt seemed diminished, and tasks that were once easy became challenging. I visited my doctor, who brushed off my concerns as mere “baby blues,” insisting that my positivity indicated I wasn’t experiencing anything serious.
I followed her advice, suppressing my worries and emotions, convinced I was just being overly sensitive. But deep down, I felt something was off. Having struggled with anxiety before, I recognized some familiar symptoms creeping back in but chose to ignore them.
Fast forward to twenty-one months later, and I welcomed my son into the world. I was thrilled to expand our family, but the presence of a toddler added a new layer of complexity. Keeping busy helped me cope, but when my son was two months old, I experienced a panic attack in the middle of the night. My heart raced, and I couldn’t breathe. The panic was all too familiar, but I couldn’t understand why it was happening again.
At my postpartum check-up with a new doctor, I mentioned my feelings. Yet again, I was dismissed, told it was just typical “mom feelings.” This time, however, I was determined to advocate for myself. I dreaded bedtime, fearing I’d fail if my baby woke up and I couldn’t soothe him quickly. An internal dialogue plagued me, constantly telling me I was a bad mother and that my family would be better off without me. I found myself crying over trivial matters, only to feel guilt and anger at my own emotional state. It became clear that this was more than just the “baby blues.”
I’m grateful for the open communication I have with my husband. One day, I mustered the courage to admit, “I think something is wrong. I need help.” With his support, I sought therapy despite feeling brushed off by my doctors. I realized my family deserved the best version of me, and I was worth the effort it took to heal.
Taking that step lifted a tremendous weight from my shoulders. While my anxiety didn’t vanish overnight, voicing my struggles made me feel hopeful again. Many mothers have their feelings minimized, labeled as mere stress or temporary sadness, but it can be so much more profound. I’m thankful I didn’t let my previous doctor’s words deter me from seeking help.
Today, I continue with weekly therapy and utilize coping strategies I’ve learned. I communicate my needs more effectively with my family and have started prioritizing my health through better nutrition and exercise. I am not on medication currently, but I remain open to it if needed. After all, self-care is not something to feel ashamed about.
Recognizing when something is wrong and seeking help is essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup; taking care of yourself is crucial to being able to care for others. Even though it can be terrifying to ask for help, it’s often the most important step you can take.
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In summary, it’s vital to listen to your feelings and advocate for your mental health. You deserve care and support, and acknowledging your struggles can lead to meaningful change.
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