My Partner Is My Closest Confidant

Recently, I posed a question to my partner, Sarah, asking if she considered me her best friend. She looked at me with a puzzled expression, almost as if my question was absurd, and replied, “Of course, yes.” Her response felt as obvious as asking if the sky is blue. It was a straightforward answer that made me question why I even asked in the first place.

“Why do you want to know?” she inquired.

I hesitated, reflecting on our lives and how I’ve drifted from many of my friends. With the demands of parenting, work, and our relationship, there’s little time left for socializing with anyone else. When I do find a moment to unwind, I prefer to spend it with Sarah because I genuinely enjoy her presence.

I don’t think this is an uncommon scenario for couples at this stage of life. I know many pairs who have similarly found themselves with fewer friendships outside of their relationship. It’s not that those who do maintain a social circle are doing anything wrong; it’s just not how some of us operate anymore.

For me, free moments are usually reserved for Sarah and our kids. That’s the reality.

Our Journey Together

However, our journey hasn’t always been this way. Like many couples, we faced our fair share of conflicts in the early years of marriage. I recall a particularly challenging time after the birth of our first child, when exhaustion was at an all-time high, and I genuinely feared we might drift apart. Back then, I often sought solace with friends, looking for distractions from the stress of parenting.

Eventually, we navigated through those tough times, moved across states, pursued our education together, expanded our family, bought a house, and even changed our lifestyles together. Through these experiences, we forged a deep friendship that I never anticipated.

Before getting married, I had a close friend, but the bond I share with Sarah surpasses anything I’ve ever had. It wasn’t until I had spent a decade married to her that I truly grasped the essence of true friendship.

Reflecting on Our Relationship

As we approach our 14th anniversary, I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather confide in. She’s my biggest supporter, the one I trust implicitly, and the person whose smile lights up my day. The depth of my affection for her is immeasurable.

The reason I asked her about being best friends was to see if she felt the same way. Perhaps it was a moment of insecurity; deep down, I knew her answer. My upbringing, shaped by parents who experienced multiple divorces, often casts shadows of doubt over my own relationship. I’ve seen how some couples fail to build that foundational friendship through years of commitment.

I understand that some marriages may need to end, especially when toxicity runs rampant. But when two individuals genuinely care for each other, mature, and are willing to invest in their relationship, a remarkable friendship flourishes, and it’s one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had.

When Sarah answered my question in the way I expected, it was a relief. I stumbled over my explanation, ultimately saying, “I don’t know. You’re my best friend, and I just wanted to know if you feel the same. It sounds silly, right?”

She leaned closer and kissed me, saying, “No, it’s not silly.”

We shared a casual conversation afterward, and then she asked, “How about watching the Great British Baking Show tonight?”

I replied, “Not a chance. I never want to watch that show.”

“But you will, because you’re my best friend, right?” she teased.

Rolling my eyes, I conceded, “Yes, but we’re watching Stranger Things tomorrow night instead.”

“Fine, but only because we’re best friends,” she playfully retorted.

I joked, “Maybe we should get friendship bracelets.”

Her expression said it all: “Don’t push it.”

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